Jan 19, 2007 | This Life
So, the boy has been pestering me for weeks to give him a sewing lesson. Truth is, my machine was well used when I got it, which means sewing on it is a bit of a challenge. However, we attempted to do just that yesterday. In the process of whipping up his first project, a plastic bag dispenser for our kitchen, I happened to mention that when I get a new machine he could have this old beater of mine.
Now, the boy is so smitten with the process that I had to kick him off the machine to go to his Tae Kwon Do class. We ended up putting the final touches on his project after dinner, and he hasn’t stopped talking about it since. (his blog will be updated Saturday with pictures.) Evidently, the first words out of his mouth this morning were, “Hey dad, you know when you buy mom a new machine she said I could have her old one!” I like how he assumed his dad would get me one.
And really… how clever am I? I mean, I could go out and get a job and buy one for myself. Or I could just let this kid drip drip drip on his dad to buy me a new machine. Guess which option I went with? (No, sweetie, that big sucking sound you hear is me. And the kid. And the house. And the dog.)
Jan 18, 2007 | Boy Wonder
My kid is a thinker. He has feelings, but he tends to run with his thoughts. Given a choice between telling you how he feels and what he thinks, there is no choice. He’d rather build you a robot than talk about his emotions. Rather design you a card or picture on his computer than actually write one by hand. I sometimes find myself struggling to relate to this deeply analytical child—as his way of being in the world is very different than mine.
He is also 10 and quickly reaching the age where the stories about him are no longer “cute” and “funny”—but limited by his need for privacy. He knows I blog and he knows he plays a big role in this world of mine. He’s ok with me telling you the good stuff and with my posting photos, as long as he isn’t “embarrassed” by it. At two you can get away with sharing so much, even at six and seven. Let’s face it, at that age they are doing stuff that warrants conversation. Those little wisdoms that come bounding out of their limited experience are too good not to share. Right?
At ten… not only are the things he’s doing too complicated to share—how am I supposed to explain that he’s looking for molecular modeling on the internet and can’t find anything that isn’t attached to a University when I’m not sure what molecular modeling is—but they are private in nature. It’s stuff you might not want your mother telling the world.
It’s not just about dignity… although I’m trying hard to maintain mine while protecting his. It’s also about being willing to let another person own their own story. I have some time before he looks at me and says, “This is my life and it’s off limits”—but it’s coming. At 10 he has his own blog and his own stories to tell. He is finding is own voice and the line between what part of the story belongs to me and what is his by virtue of experience is getting so hard to see.
I’m hoping, that by taking this first step to letting him go, letting him be in charge of his own story, that the later letting go will be easier. Of course, it won’t be. But practice has to help—if only in teaching of the doing.
These are lessons I’d rather not have to learn.
Today, IZ and I were called downstairs and presented with the card above. The text on the front reads:
Your love is great. So great that in order to give it back I had to wrap it in these three poems.
The inside has the following handwritten poems.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I love spending time with you.
Rather a sewing lesson or a video game,
I love the fun you put in my name.
In or out , you’re always about,
Whenever I am in doubt.
Sometimes I’m frustrated there is no doubt,
But you can fix it before I shout.
Whenever you can you say OK,
So we can all shout Hooray!
Young or old you will always
Make me feel the Love you hold.
Mom
Kind, Happy
Loving, Feeling, Exaggerating
A happy good person
Thank you
Dad
Scientific, Enthusiastic
Thinking, minding, examining
Another good happy person
Thank you.
He closed his little love note with these words:
Dear Mom and Dad,
Thank you for all the wonderful things you have given me. Now I give you these poems to express my feelings about you.
It was that last line that sent my tear ducts into overdrive. Of course, it’s not cool to be crying over these things…
Boy Wonder: So, do you like it?
Me: Like isn’t a strong enough word, kiddo. It’s beautiful, these words are beautiful and I love it. I love YOU!
And here is the moment. Where I once would have posted those words without a second thought, I paused. I held his little card in my hands and said, “So, do you mind if I share your words on my blog?†He just smiled and said, “Nah, you can! It’s ok. Honest.â€
I find myself overwhelmed a lot these days and he’s not the least of the beauty in my world. As I sat there looking at his card, breathing that moment in I was impressed with his willingness to put to paper his feelings. This wasn’t a gift of a robot or an invention or his newest theory on atomic science. Instead, it was like being handed a flashlight in a dark tunnel and discovering that you are surrounded by astonishing beauty. In making his card, he moved out of his own world and attempted to meet me in mine. Pencil and paper and watercolors and crayon—the stuff of my soul was handed back to me in the most tender of moments.
I almost didn’t write this—I almost held onto it… but even at ten the wisdom that comes bounding out his experiences is so worth sharing. So, I share while I still can.
And then, my thinker child went back to thinking. I thanked him for his gift and said I’d be keeping his words forever. He smiled at me and said. “You know if you don’t want to type all that out, I have it saved on my computer.â€
Jan 17, 2007 | This Life
I have no words tonight… so, I will distract you with pretty pictures of things that have been rocking my world lately. Look at the pretty pictures.
This little clock is from Urban Outfitters and it comes in 4 colors. I’m nothing if indecisive… so, it’s a good thing I’m Christmas poor, because I don’t think I could choose. However, this color would rock my play space’s(office/studio/retreat/spare bedroom with no purpose and no name) wall. How cute is that little bird on top?
Speaking of being indecisive… Check out these rain boots by Jeffrey Campbell.
These seem like a legitimate purchase, since I do live in the rainiest town in America. Seriously, I do not exaggerate. But wait! There’s more…
I know… how rocking would I be enduring Astoria storms in these? I mean, why don traditional rain boots when you can wear these in the stormy season? No brainer, right? Decision made, right? Not so fast!
I’m so torn. I told you I was indecisive. As a kid, I always ordered chocolate ice cream because I could never make a decision. It was that, or leave with nothing. Strawberry? Vanilla? Butter Pecan? Bubble gum? Rainbow Sherbert? Mocha Java Crunch? How’s a girl to choose? Now, when I get like this, I seek a second opinion:
IZ: Do you need another pair of shoes?
Me: What kind of question is that?
IZ: I forget. What are these?
Me: They are rain boots, smart-ass. Besides, this is a completely justifiable expense. Have you noticed how much it rains here? Huh? And I could wear these with everything… with jeans, and skirts, and dresses… I’d never take them off, I wear them everywhere!
IZ: Well, if you got the multi colored ones you could even wear them to church!
That sounds like a completely innocent statement by IZ—but he’s mocking me here.
Me: What? You saying I can’t wear the Scull pair to church?
IZ: (just looks at me)
Me: No, seriously. You’re not telling me I can’t wear those to church!
IZ: I’m not saying anything.
Me: Well, that settles it.
He’s off his game tonight, because he should know better by now. Typically, he sides for the opposite of what he wants because he knows that I’m basically an oppositional nine year old at heart. Unless, he meant to plant of seed of doubt in my head.
He may have a point, though. If parishioners stopped talking to me for calling God a she in my sermon, it’s possible they might not let me walk through the door wearing scull cowboy rain boots. Especially if I pair those boots with this:
(Photo stolen from ebay)
I know, this is last summer’s hit. But, really, come on now. I live in Astoria. It’s never summer in these parts. Besides, if the socks with sandals trend is any indication, then I’m pretty sure that high fashion is patently ignored in this town.
Of course, it will have to be some cheap knock-off, because this stuff has been sold out since last fall. And Ebay sellers smell blood! But, rumor has it, I can pick up bottle of Sally Hansen’s at Walgreen’s without breaking the bank.
Then there is this from Martha Stewart Weddings. It seems only fitting to close my post with a bit of beauty from the great one:
Pretty, no? (that’s rhetorical, IZ!) I love the idea of sipping mochas out of that latte bowl with my perfectly manicured black nails (sport length, of course!).
What’s rocking your world?
Jan 16, 2007 | This Life
Evidently, my penchant for eating snow dates back a few decades.
Jan 15, 2007 | This Life
This was the view that met me as I passed our dining room window tonight at sunset—only better. I’m afraid it took me a few moments to realize that the window latch was locked not frozen shut. And a few moments more of hanging out the window snapping pictures to realize that I wanted my zoom lens. By the time I was ready to capture the magic, the moment had passed. But I saw it, so you’re going to have to take my word for it. It was a thing of beauty.
Sometimes all the beauty that surrounds me is overwhelming. It’s not just the view that takes my breath away. I’m surrounded by some amazing people, too. Artists in their own rights and terribly nice people to boot!
Take Monica at The Happy Zombie. How can you not love that blog name? She’s a local craft blogger who is almost as obsessed over the weather as I am! We both recently found ourselves outside snapping photos of our snow at 1 am in the morning—separated by just one street! Of course, we didn’t discover this until we read each other’s blogs in the morning! We’ve not met, yet—despite living so close. Our schedules (and illness) have kept us from doing so, but that’s something I hope to change soon! Monica’s a very talented quilter and crafter and she shares her life in a straightforward manner that’s engaging! She brings humor and compassion into her writing, and by reading it, into my life.
Then there is Paula—also a local crafter who writes to keep her long distance family posted on the events of her life in Astoria. She’s a skilled crafter as well so of course more than just her family can be found reading her blog these days. She tells great stories–on her blog and in person too! What I like about Paula is that she notices the little things… and encourages me to see them too! Like the how beautiful a cozy kitchen can be!
Finally, there is Kathleen who inspires me. She and her husband just moved to Astoria and are in the process of restoring a Craftsman that was mangled by its previous owners. Poor house! However, it is in good hands now—and the difference is already beginning to be apparent as she and Shawn bring to the surface the beauty hiding in the walls. They are both lovely people– IZ and I are looking forward to getting to know them better in this New Year.
Beyond their renovations, Kathleen is an artist of some repute. Her website Liquid Sky Arts is fairly well known. There is good reason people are talking about her work as it is truly lovely. Now Astoria gets to claim her as a local artist! From her blog and her screen-printed stationery, to her jewelry and photography, everything Kathleen touches has a certain panache that I find enchanting! I visit her blog whenever I need an infusion of “ooh” in my day. (I’m saving my pennies for one of her Par Avion Pendants!)
I am stunned on a regular basis by all the natural beauty in my world. Astoria is a thing to behold. I am so blessed to live here! I find myself equally blessed to be getting to know each of these women. I love the fact that all three them live in my neighborhood. I feel so lucky! Sophie and I walk by their houses on a regular basis. And as I pass each of their homes, I imagine them inside hard at work weaving floss into gold, shaping beauty for the world to see…and I say a little prayer for them, thanking the Universe for bringing them into my world.
I truly am surrounded by beauty.
Jan 14, 2007 | This Life
I don’t know about you, but I’m wishing for Spring. I’m ready for warmer weather, sunshine, and bunches of these:
I’ll be back tomorrow with real content. Later in the week there will be a password protected post. Nothing major, but it’s one of those stories where I should be good girl and protect the innocent. heh… Let me know if you want the tin key (it’s new!) to my secret diary and I’ll send it along in email. 😀
Until then, I hope you are all staying warm!
Jan 13, 2007 | This Life
As this is the end of National Delurker Week**, I just want to give a shout out to all you lovelies who were kind enough to leave some comment love in the box! Evidently, my server has had some “issues” and I’m finding that some of my responses to those comments have “misappeard” as we like to say around these parts. I’ve gone back and fixed everything, I think! However, if I missed you, please forgive the oversight.
These little glitches happen from time to time— I lost a whole post last week!! It was there long enough for IZ to comment on it and then it vanished from sight! Good thing I had that one backed up in a WORD document, eh?
It is so disheartening to be ignored on a website that usually talks back to you! Or, to show up and find your comment missing. I should know! This happened to me several times in the past week–and while a couple of them were honest gaffes (people have server issues like me). It still kinda hurts. Especially if you think it’s personal or you’ve somehow offended people. Yikes!
So, should you ever log on and find that something you’ve written has “misappeared” please email me. You might not give a second thought to these sorts of things, but I certainly care! I’ve only intentionally erased 3 comments in my time blogging…(We aren’t counting all that spam.) Chances are, if your comment is “ignored” I just missed it–if it’s missing, it suffered at the hands of my temperamental server.
Anyhow, thank you all for commenting! This is the last post I write on commenting this month year.
**It appears that our beloved founder is back from her hiatus that she conveniently took during her own holiday. Smart girl! 😀
Jan 12, 2007 | This Life
I’ve not done much writing about my childhood. In part, because I have a sibling and I respect his privacy. You know all the stories I would tell would make me look good and him like the pesky little brother he is, er, was, anyhow. That’s my right as the eldest; and well, I’m just nice enough not to exercise it.
Until now.
I was minding my own business when IZ instant messages me from his office. “Hey, your brother says he and his friends sit around at night listening to him read your blog stories aloud. Evidently, you’ve become quite the fan favorite.â€
WHAT????? What am I supposed to say to that? I would tell you what I said, if it wasn’t so laden with profanity. Boy, can I type fast when it’s only four letter words flying from my fingertips. Not good, not good.
My reaction reminds me a little of that scene in Fanny and Alexander, where Alexander and his sister are walking behind their father’s casket through the city streets. He is swearing under his breath, this long stream of words… shit, hell, piss, etc… over and over. Hey, it’s in Swedish, the subtitles make it funnier. Fanny just looks at him and smiles. IZ played Fanny to my Alexander–smiling at the brisk string of color commentary popping up on his screen. Who knew that portion of my vocabulary was so extensive!
When I my fingers calmed down, I finally stammered out:
Me: What do you mean they are reading my blog together? In a group? Is there alcohol involved? They’re high, right?
IZ: You should be flattered!
Me: I am, and it’s ok. But still, WTF??
An aside:
Honestly, Mark, don’t your friends have something better to do with their time? Is this some sort of self-help/birth control//save your sanity group where you read cautionary tales to each other to keep yourselves on the straight and narrow? Like, “See, THIS is what getting married/having children/taking vicodin will do to a person†kind of scenario?
Here I was, being a nice older sister, not telling tales and what’s my sibling doing? Selling me out. I bet he’s collecting a cover charge for these little shindigs (I want a piece of that! Tyvm)! What does this teach you, Dear Readers? Yeah, every chance you get you should stick it to your younger siblings, because you can count on the fact they are sticking it to you.
So, darling brother of mine, I’m not going to be nice any more. Feel free to keep reading, although why a bunch of 20’s somethings would be interested is beyond my imagination, but know that I’m going to tell it all. With visual aides.
Yeah, you forgot mom gave me all the photos, didn’t cha? And seriously, if you are pimping out my work for cash, I expect a cut.
Jan 11, 2007 | This Life
It appears that the whole town of Astoria is nestled in white! All the way to the river, you can see roofs iced in powered white snow. So light is this powder, it makes a lovely, “crunch crunch” sound as you walk. The world looks different under a blanket of snow.
My lovely neighbor John’s mailbox. Fuzzy in the background is the most inviting bench.
Street Scenes. Ours doesn’t look as straight under a blanket of white.
Ice! I have a feeling we will be seeing more of this as the temperatures drop under these clear blue skies.
Winter blooms. Snow flowers.
Even my shoes.
The world does look different under a blanket of snow. I hope you are enjoying this Winter whatever your weather.
Jan 11, 2007 | This Life
Surprised by Snow!
I mean, I knew it could happen, but I wasn’t expecting so much. Don’t you just love it when something you were expecting still manages to surprise you? IZ and I were greeted by a fresh blanket covering the entire world when we took Sophie for her last walk tonight. It was amazing… and it’s so white that it is actually light outside. Sadly, not quite light enough to get decent photos. (Man do I need to learn to take photos in the dark!)
Because you needed to see a picture of my shoes. Which are on the snow… see the theme yet? 😀
mmm, Snow. Yummy!
“Who me? I’m not watching. I’m just standing here eating my snow!”
This is my favorite house on our street. We always stop just short of their walkway because I won’t let Sophie spoil their yard.
I walked Sophie, and IZ walked me. I don’t have to tell you how much I love this man. But what’s cool is that I like him, too! (Thanks sweetie!)
