UPDATE: For those of you who took the moment to stop and chant “Door A, Bob” with me—Thank you! She seemed to have heard you across the universe and agreed. My paper was accepted without revision, with LOTS of praise. I had to write two papers for this class, the first one Bob hated with a passion. So, the pressure was on for this last attempt. However, Bob was impressed and suggested that I consider writing as a vocation. She also suggested that I consider more education. I, of course, stopped listening after she said, “Door A, Wende!” So, don’t be getting any ideas!
Anyhow, I just wanted to express my gratitude for your companionship on my journey—especially those of you who did take the time to comment. It means more to me than you might know. It’s lovely to have friends—even if you are all scattered across the blogosphere. I didn’t feel alone yesterday, for that I am grateful!:) Thank you from the bottom of my heart! ~Wendelynn
____________________________________
So it all comes down to this, at 3:30 this afternoon, my life becomes a game show. Will it be Door A or will it be Door B?
My paper is submitted and I am scheduled to speak to my assigned adviser at that time. Let’s call her Bob. Now, Bob is a by the books kind of girl and while she’s empathetic and isn’t afraid of alternative takes on theology—she’s kinda by the books. Which means I don’t have much hope for Door A.
Behind Door A lies freedom. If all goes well, my paper will be accepted without revision and I am officially done. A graduate. The sun will shine, miraculously. I will be free to bake cookies. To decorate. To get in the Christmas Spirit. Free from my enslavement to Seminary (what was I thinking anyhow? Five years of my life GONE and really, what did I learn? Probably shouldn’t say that just yet…) Free to begin paying off all my loans.
Behind Door B lies depression. Bob requires revision. Revision means another week of slogging through this incomprehensible tripe I’m passing off as a paper. Revision means Wende tailspins deeper into the “deer in headlights” zombie mode she’s been living in for the past week—waiting for this moment.
It’s hard to comprehend how 5 years of my life can come down to just one paper, just one phone call. And that reality has left me in a kind of stupor while I wait. I can’t get motivated to do anything. I’m just one revision from donning plaid and not washing my hair. One revision from singing Nirvana lyrics—All in all, is all we are.
So, I’m pleading with fate. I’m cajoling the universe. I’d be jumping up and down, if I wasn’t so tired, screaming loud enough to be heard across the miles, “I choose Door A, Bob!”
Because, let’s face it, I’m getting too old to pull off disaffected youth. And nobody wants to see me wearing plaid.
May it rain in Door A’s! And knobs, and hinges, and doorbells…
__________________________________
Thanks! From your mouth to Bob’s ears, eh? ~W
Well, even in plaid, you are still lovely. However, if it is plaid under straight jacket white – that’s an entirely different story. So, I’ll vote for door A…
___________________________________
Thank you, beloved one. For standing by me and keeping the faith—especially when I wanted to give up. ~W
That would make a cool sermon: choices, efforts, rewards and acceptance. You could deliver it in plaid!
__________________________________
OOF. Me in plaid. That’s just so frightening. ~W
I can’t wait to hear which door. I’m betting on Door A.
___________________________________
You win, you win! :D Yippee skippee. Now, what should I do with my self? ~W
If your advisor’s name is Bob and she’s a girl … she’s got bigger issues than your paper 😉
Nothing is ever as bad as it seems. Trust me on this one. You’ll be fine. And if s/he does require minor revisions, send it to me. I’ll revise it … and she’ll never know the difference. 🙂
hehehehehehehe
___________________________________
That might be a fun exercise, even though I don’t need to revise. It would be kinda fun to see what you would come up with. 😀 ~W
GO, DOOR A. I am hoping for the best. We are our own worst critics sometimes.
___________________________________
We are, aren’t we? Although, I had good reason this time to be concerned. I had to write two papers for this class and Bob hated, just HATED the first paper. So, I was steeling myself for that potential today. Fortunately, she loved this paper—thought it was very well written and that I should consider hanging onto parts of it for later publication. SO! :) That would be Door A! Thanks for your good thoughts. ~W
ok DON’T be there when i call. FINE! i’ll get over it. just so you know i care. i’ll catch you later, then.
___________________________________
Oh! Thanks for calling–I got in kinda late and needed to give Sophie a bath–so it was 10 before I got to my computer… And, I KNOW IZ already told you the news, so…:D ~W
how’d it go?
__________________________________
I passed! :) Of course, not out of the habit of school, I promptly took myself to another lecture later that night. Heh… old habits. I expect you are in finals about now—-hope it’s going well for you! ~W
I’m pulling for you with heavy thoughts for Door A. Nobody wants to see you wearing plaid….
__________________________________
Oh! Thank you! And, mercifully, I’m going to be plaid free for awhile. 🙂 ~W
There *WILL* be a Christmas after all!
___________________________________
Indeed! In fact, it’s already feeling like it, eh? :DÂ Any requests for Christmas? ~W
I’m so sorry that I missed these last few days of agony and rewrites…but only because I would have been cheering from the sidelines for you too. I’ve been a bit self-absorbed lately so I have neglected folks I care about like you. Sorry about that.
It sounds like you didn’t need my shouts of support because you rock baby! Congrats a 1000 times over and over!
__________________________________
Oh! No worries, Karan. You’ve had plenty of reasons to be preoccupied! No apologies necessary. I hope things are getting better! And, thank you—I appreciate the support even belated. 🙂 ~W