Nov 17, 2003 | This Life
Productive?
I’m headed to bed… it’s been a day. Mostly of minor little disappointments. Nothing that sleep and lots of coffee won’t fix. Although probably not in that order.
It has been a productive evening. I finished two of the three writing projects for the week. Don’t be too impressed–the major paper is still left to do. Heh. I polished them off while listening to THIS. GO NOW to this amazing artist’s web page and have a listen. Better yet, go buy his demo. He is amazing. I caught the end of his set at the Luce concert on Saturday. The Particles played after him… and they should have just let the kid keep the stage. The Particles… well… suck. But check out Brad. Ok.
Coffee, then bed.
Nov 17, 2003 | You Can't Make This Stuff Up
From the Vault
Ok… sometimes it’s fun to reprint stuff. Well, I think it is. This is from August 2001. Have fun.
Note to Self:
Well, it’s been a long month of August and I can’t say that I have done too much over the course of the month. In fact, I have been so busy working on my future case of skin cancer that there has been little time left for more academic pursuits like the writing of this column. And besides, this little piece of nonsense isn’t going to get me into Grad School, so why not work on the tan? Anyhow, now that September is creeping up at the rate of fungus growing on small children�s feet, I had better get cracking. Which brings me to my topic.
Although I have accomplished little this month, it wasn’t for want of reminders. I spent the month saying Note to self: work on your web sit, or Note to self: register small child for school, and Note to self: buy those really cool boots you saw on Sale at Nordstrom before they are off sale again. (And for the record� I DID work on the web site a bit, the kid is registered for school because his responsible parent took the morning off work to do it and the boots are no longer on sale!) Anyhow, for this little file I thought you might be interested in some of the Notes to Self that scrawled across the tiny expanse of my brain this month of August. (While I worked on the tan of course!)
Note to Self:
- Don’t let anyone who has suffered a recent death in the family cut your hair.
- Don’t walk barefoot into the bedroom of a 4-year-old who owns 2000 legos.
- Coffee can be a nutritional, supplemental drink if you LIKE the strung out on caffeine look.
- Mom is a four-lettered word!
- One cannot browse in Toys-R-Us! (Unless one is alone or one forgets to bring one’s wallet!)
- According to 4-year-olds, we can make new money! Daddy just needs to buy some gold foil.
- Have IZ buy some gold foil.
- Spandex and PMS — bad combination.
- MSN SUCKS.
- If it looks great on the model in the catalogue then it will look like you were trying too hard to look like the model in the catalogue.
- If it looks so-so on the model in the catalogue, it will still look like you were trying too hard on you.
- If it looks awful on the model in the catalogue you will buy it anyway and it will still look awful on you.
- Conclusion: you are not the model in the catalogue.
- The model in the catalogue is on the Coffee as a Nutritional Supplement diet.
- Small children can be reasoned with– unless they are your small children
- Remember to hide the chocolate in a heat resistant location.
- Toe rings are cool. (finally, I scored one with the 4-year-old fashion police)
- Although the 4-year-old thinks blue nail polish is a fashion statement he wants to make; the 4-year-old’s father is not so impressed.
- We have to eat real food before we eat junk food. And that includes the coffee as a nutritional supplement.
- Find out why girls need earrings�.
- If MSN built it–it will crash.
- The family pet is really just another small child in a tiny fur coat. Look into adoption.
- Start saving for the 4-year-old’s therapy bill.
- Small boys are supposed to smell that way.
- Stop calling the 4-year-old small and little. Evidently, he will be 5 soon.
- Five is the legal age to start bad mouthing your mother and doing what you want!
- Find out how to be Five again.
- Order the Buzz Lightyear Costume before they sell out or he wants to be Captain Hook.
- Teach the 4-year-old how to make coffee and do laundry.
- While you are at it, teach him some table manners.
- Yes, God loves us just as we are but you still have to clean your room.
- Throw that piece of junk you call a computer out the window. Aim for the cat.
- When the next telemarketer calls put the 4-year-old on the phone.
- Why didn�t I think of that earlier?
- Will it work with bill collectors too???
- Buy some more coffee.
Well, that about wraps up the month of August. And despite my best efforts, I am still not tan. Oh, which reminds me. Note to self: buy some sunless tanning creme!
Wende.
Nov 17, 2003 | You Can't Make This Stuff Up
No Brainer
Everybody reads Kottke. And most people claim that straight-up on their links list. If I had one… I’d probably do the same. No real shame in admitting that you read what 98% of the web-reading population reads (unless it’s PORN and your mother reads your site?) However, I don’t have a link list… and am not going to write one into this pathetic template nor am I going to post a list so that people can assume that “You are what you read”. It’s none of your damn business what I’m reading. If I’m going be ordinary and common like everyone else, I’m not going to point that out!!! No brainer? Right? Ok… that being said… GO HERE. He would be on my list… if I had one. via Kottke
Nov 16, 2003 | You Can't Make This Stuff Up
Toothpicks
I’m way too tired at the moment to blog… it’s been a crazy weekend. The perfect precursor to my upcoming week of insanity. The one bad thing about actually having a life… you don’t have much time to write about it. I much prefer the slacker days of summer. All of this to say it’s crunch time in the semester. Knowing me, that will mean lots of inane little posts coming your way as I procrastinate on papers. But right now… I just need to sleep.
Nov 13, 2003 | You Can't Make This Stuff Up
This is why we pay her the big bucks
Chances are, you might be visiting this site after having read the following:
attention cool people who visit here and talk funny: please go bug wen on her site. she is lovely even if she did name her dictionary edgar for some reason that shall never be fully explainable. so go bug her little wesleyan ass, will ya? [ooo, wen, dictionary.com referrs to methodism as “a branch of Protestantism.” ooo. i’ll go wail on their cyber-ass for ya] Lifted from Ms. Kat’s site earlier today.
I have NO idea what that child is smoking, but in no way did I have anything to do with her purchase or use of it. I certainly don’t condone the use of illegal substances.
You are neither required nor obligated in any way to comment. It would be nice… but not necessary.
As for my “little Wesleyan ass” and being Prostestant… well, I’m working on a mind-numbingly boring treatise called: Stop Calling Me Protestant, You Weasel. I promise to post it soon… until then. Have fun… use the comment link at your own risk.
(PS Kat… save the good stuff for tomorrow night. wink wink)
Nov 12, 2003 | You Can't Make This Stuff Up
Stop the Presses
In a rare moment of competency, I completed the Polity exam this afternoon–it’s due next Monday. As a reward, I’m headed to bed with a warm blanket and a hot cup of coffee… What can I say… I live life large.
Nov 11, 2003 | You Can't Make This Stuff Up
I’m Geek Like That
The Art of Procrastination: Cont…
5. Read really interesting people on-line– particularly in a subject matter you are neither well versed in nor have honest use for in the future. This allows you to put off what you should be doing in favor of getting a real education.
My latest moments of procrastination: Clay Shirky, and Christopher Locke. Fun. Fun. Fun.
Nov 10, 2003 | This Life
Lost
There are moments in everyone’s life that can only be described as major fuck-ups. There is little doubt that yesterday will go down in my personal history as just such a day.
Actually, the fuck-up part started a week ago when I thought I had mis-placed my wedding rings somewhere on my desk. But, figuring the state of my desk, I also figured that they would turn up on the weekend when I had a chance to clean. Yesterday was cleaning day. No deal. So, what I thought was simply playing a little game of hide and seek is, for all I know, really GONE. I tore the house apart, not just my desk. Nothing. I reorganized all the little compartments in my desk. Still nothing. IZ hunted on his hands and knees with a flash-light. Gone.
Then I sat down and cried. Trust me, there is nothing you can say that I haven’t already said to myself. I feel sick… like I killed something. IZ did his best to be supportive… which, considering he gave the rings to me, felt like another course of heaping damnation. It’s not like they can be easily replaced. Or that they should be.
In a way, something has died. I guess I get to grieve. I know, just a ring, right? But it isn’t. And it’s not made easier by the fact that I’m the responsible party… or in this case the irresponsible party. Like I said… big fuck-up.
***********************************************
Update:
After many tears and weeks of searching… what was lost is now found. For all of you sending out good vibes, karma, and prayer… thank you VERY much. When the small child was told his response was classic:
“Well, Good. The miracle I prayed for you came true. I told God that if you didn’t get it back I was going to be really angry! Now, I’m in the middle of my video game…” Whew.
Nov 8, 2003 | This Life
Tidbits
It’s been a long week–which is why the only things new around here are the comments. (even those are a bit weak lately.) I’m extraordinarily run down due to a crammed week and the pharmacy at Kaiser taking too long to fill my meds. So, this post will have no cohesive thread… I’m too damg tired to be creative.
However, I am cognizant of the need to post, even if it’s just to give all you wonderful readers a new link to use for your comments. So, here are a few “highlights” from my incredibly hectic week. In no particular order. (Being Linear is over-rated).
Miracle on the Third Floor
Kat: “Wow, you actually check the units the student is registering for?(she was watching Marv Chaney count the units on my gold card.) Most professors around here don’t even look if you are registering for 19 units.”
Marv:”Yeah, well, most them weren’t as severely toilet-trained as I was”
(that’s the jist of the conversation… don’t quote me for accuracy)
For me, registration is a three-floor marathon in Montgomery Hall. Marv’s office is the second floor stop. Third floor is the hideous ordeal of getting the business office to sign off on your account… First floor marks final destination: Polly’s office for the hand-off. I typically hit the third floor first. No point in taking up Marv’s time if the business office is going to INSIST that I don’t have the appropriate funds to register. Which is typically not the case. Usually, things are just fine. However, proving this to the business office requires work beyond what you would expect. They don’t seem to believe me… or their computer screens for some reason. I’m beginning to suspect a conspiracy, but that’s another post. So, imagine my surprise at the following interchange:
Me: “Hi, this will be really quick. My computer says I’m all caught up. Yours will probably say otherwise–if that’s the case, I’ll wait until January to register.”
Office person: (signing the gold card), “Oh, your husband just called, your account is fine.”
*sputter* Wow… Fifteen minutes flat. I registered in 15 minutes. This, people, is a miracle. It probably has something to do with the fact that the usual office person wasn’t there and a really nice office person was in her place. I’m still in shock that I didn’t have to make three separate trips and bring in character witnesses in order to register. Not to mention the coincidence of IZ calling right before I walked in. He was under the impression I was waiting until January. Amazing.
I don’t know, what do you want to do?
Small Child: “Mom, are you partial to leggos?
What’s that supposed to mean?
Friday afternoon I filled in for Alyx in the bookstore. I’m nice like that. I was minding my own business when a classmate from the meditation class I took earlier this semester walked in.
Mike: “Kay says that we are probably going start meeting on Monday nights around 5 pm starting in January”
Me: “Oh, that’s too bad. I scheduled all my classes for Mondays and Thursdays next semester. I’m over in Berkeley all day Monday.”
Mike:”Wow, that’s a lot of classes in two days!”
Me: “Well, one class is only 1.5 units and another 3 units are for a reading class–so it isn’t as bad as it sounds.”
Mike: (pause) “A reading class… Man, you have to be really disciplined for that!”
*sputter* *wheeze* *gag* What? Do I have “undisciplined” tattooed on my forehead? Non-linear does not necessarily equate undisciplined. Humph!
Those are my pants!
This is just a random observation, really. But, I’ve taken to wearing my over-alls around this week. They are roomy and comfy… if a bit “granola” (according to IZ). Just one down side: peeing. Taking off your scarf, sweater, and unsnapping is like playing chicken with post-baby bladder control. Of course, that might be more information that you wanted.
Bank Error in Your Favor–Move Ahead Three Spaces and Collect $200
Phone rings at the bookstore:
Me: “SFTS Bookstore, this is Wende, how can I help you?”
Caller: “Hey Sweetie, it’s me…How’s your day going?”
Me: “Oh, fine! You won’t believe this… I registered today. In 15 minutes! And get this… I walked into the business office right after you called. She didn’t even look up my account, just signed the card!”
IZ: “Great, I was actually calling you to tell you that you should go register. Did she tell you that you have a thousand dollar credit on your account?”
Me: “What?”
IZ: “Oh, yeah. Well, evidently, they were wrong when you registered in the fall! So, I say, go register before they change their minds.”
Me: “And you know that’s gonna happen!”
I think this might explain why I haven’t received a statement in three months from the school.
I’ll see you your misery and raise you my angst!
Me: “Get your shoes on, please, we are trying to leave.”
Small Child:”I know, I know, I know. Sheesh, Mom, you don’t have to tell me twice!”
Me: “That tone isn’t appropriate. Just get your shoes on, NOW!”
Small Child:”Sheesh, I’m doing it already. You don’t have to make such a big deal.”
Me:”Just put your shoes on, already”
Small Child: “I can’t tell you how miserable my life feels!”
Me: “Well, my life feels miserable too, just put your shoes on…”
Small Child:”Well, my life feels more miserable than yours does!”
I give up.
That’s a wrap
Whew! Gives you some idea as to why I haven’t been blogging lately… life gets crazy like that. So, I will sign off for now and go back to my Christmas music. It’s kinda cozy in the bookstore, today. Probably something to do with the rain and the lack of customers. Think I will go make some hot chocolate and read a bit. There’s bound to be a book around here… (all puns intended)
