Apr 4, 2005 | You Can't Make This Stuff Up
I’m not a big fan of bathroom talk on blogs. Certain A list blogs get away with it because they are A list blogs, not because it is particularly funny or worth reading. You’re constipated? SO WHAT. Oh, you’re an A list blogger? OMG, you’re constipated? How sad for you!
However, you will have to suffer my hypocrisy today–most of my readers are SPAM bots so who cares what you think–because today is a new day. A day of liberation. A day that officially marks the end to my inability to pee. Not that I can’t pee and pee freely–I can, thank you very much. But for the last three years I’ve been compelled to share a bathroom with two other people–two
other people who think bathrooms are vacation spots, two other people who are endowed to pee standing up (UNFAIR), two other people besides ME. And you have figured out by now that it’s all about me, right?
Yes, today it is official. Soon, very soon, I will no longer share a bathroom with the boys. Instead there will be a bathroom for each and every one of us, God bless us all. A chicken in each pot, and a pot to pee in each, yada yada yada.
I would post a photo of the new liberation front–but I think suspense is good for you. And consider this payback for the lack of commenting as of late. And because I think the following cartoon from Natalie Dee sums up my reality far better than you can imagine.
Mar 31, 2005 | You Can't Make This Stuff Up
Ok, so my brief… BRIEF brush with fame came this week when I was given a chance to judge the NY vs EXPATS writing challenge over at Bathroom Reading. They stage a writing contest every week or so, and I had thechance to render the final verdict this week. The entries, based on photos or a scenario given at the beginning of the challenge, tend to be well written and great entertainment. I don’t write that kind of thing, so why not get in on the fun and judge?. Especially if it gives me a chance to exercise my naturally sarcastic “wit” (I use that term LOOSELY). My verdict is on the front page right now. But I wasn’t kidding about the brevity of my fame: Bathroom Reading blogs often and my little contribution will disappear off the front page ASAP. Delusional girl that I am, I’m pretending that I submitted a wonderfully written piece and it’s just been picked up by a big paper and is being published. My imagination runs full throttle these days. Have fun!
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Mar 28, 2005 | You Can't Make This Stuff Up
The church is alive and well in Russia. Evidently so is religious fanaticism. Yuri Samodurov, curator of the Sakhavrov museum in Moscow, and his colleague Lyudmila Vasilovskaya were charged last year with inciting religious hatred after an exhibition they staged was defaced by an angry mob of young men. Caution!Religion caused so much angst that the museum was forced to shut the exhibit down–apparently before any decent photos of the sacrilege(which included an interactive Icon that allowed the visitor to pose as the icon and a Coke label with Jesus’ face that proclaimed, “This is my blood”) could be taken. Sadly, the exhibit only came to notice of those pesky Western reporter types after the “art” was branded blasphemous with what appears to be black paint. Here are the sad remains:
Samodurav and Vasilovskaya were both found guilty today and fined 100,000 roubles.
And the French were worried Jesus would turn up selling socks! I always suspected Jesus preferred Coke to Pepsi.
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Mar 21, 2005 | You Can't Make This Stuff Up
Leave it to the French to be offended by this:
In rare form, as French judges tend to be, the court ordered the posters removed with what can only be assumed as unintentional irony: “The French judge in the case ordered that all posters on display should be taken down in three days.” Three days. Not four, not five, but three. Somebody’s been reading their New Testament. However, not closely enough, or they might have realized that the offending tableau is based on “Art” not “Scripture.” Which begs for the can to be opened, “Isn’t it all art?” But I refuse. It is after all, Holy Week. You on the other hand can blaspheme away:
Mar 14, 2005 | You Can't Make This Stuff Up
Evidently, Mr. Hanson does not understand that the true motivating force behind blogging is narcissism. Which, in my opinion, can include the use of glamor shots. If Mr. Hanson thinks the
blogosphere is too self involved he clearly hasn’t spent time in Seminary. In any case, here is my contribution.
This is me before I took vicodin and spun around three times.
This is me after! But, shhh… please don’t blow my cover.
Feb 24, 2005 | You Can't Make This Stuff Up
I feel so loved. Among all the birthday wishes and little presents from loved ones (Thanks IZ for the shoes, they are DY-NO-MITE!) was a birthday card from the County of Marin. It appears, I’ve been summoned for jury duty. Oh well, at least I don’t have serve on my birthday.
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