Ilwaco

Mar 21, 2006 | You Can't Make This Stuff Up

I’m not sure which is worse: that we had this conversation or that we had it in Instant messaging–while in the same house, within ear shot.

Wende: i wish we could buy in Ilwaco. i’d love to buy a tiny place, fix it up, and use it as a writing retreat.

IZ: I know.

Wende: S i g h. i’m sad

IZ: Why?

Wende: because, for a lot less i could fix up my office. . . i wish ihad YOURS, i’d tear out the wall and put in french doors to the deck

IZ: Um, no you wouldn’t. The deck ends where the bathroom ends.

Wende: hello–i’d put the bathroom in the closet, to make a garden suite.

IZ: LOL – OMG – “I’ll just tear out a wall” turned into a $40,000 project.

Wende: yes, but, that’s better than, say, 89K plus improvements

IZ: LOL

Wende: Hey! i’m coming in at 1/4th cost. i’m being frugal

IZ: ROFLMA

Wende: living w/in my means

IZ: Um

Wende: wtf is wrong with YOU?

IZ: OK dear. You are funny

Wende: hey, i’m living into the reality i want

Wende: MAKE IT SO, NUMBER ONE

IZ: “engage”

*seriously, tho–he doesn’t know it–but I’m tearing out that wall.

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Observing

Mar 1, 2006 | You Can't Make This Stuff Up

Has anyone else noticed that Native Oregonians are difficult to come
by? Chuck a stone in my little town and you will hit a
Californian. Which, is kinda fun–chucking stones at Californians
should be an Olympic sport. But seriously–is it just me?
Or is there a bevy of true Oregonians I don’t know about? Did they all move to Idaho? Or did the rapture come and leave nothing but Californians here? Where have all the Oregonians gone? Long time, passing…

It’s just me, isn’t it?
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Good Girl’s Don’t Meme and Tell

Jan 13, 2006 | You Can't Make This Stuff Up

Yeah,
but who says I’m good? I got tagged for this Meme by the lovely
and talented HG. She will no doubt suffer great bouts of KARMA
for this–but I’m going to play along. Only because she is lovely
and talented. And because my inner 12 year old is screaming at
the top of her lungs, “THE POPULAR GIRLS JUST INVITED YOU SIT AT THEIR
TABLE FOR LUNCH. STOP BEING SUCH A DWEEB AND SAY YES. AND
DON’T SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH*.” And because I hate Chinese food and
the only way I can be bribed to eat it is if I have a Zima to wash it
down. Guess what I had for dinner?

So, I’m supposed to tell you my five weirdest habits and then tag five other suckers
people to also answer this meme. Because I have issues with
authority and being told what to do and following directions–(OMG, I
see where my kid gets this. Sheesh) I won’t be tagging
anyone. If you read this page and you aren’t a bot and you
haven’t already been tagged by another popular person–then consider
yourself tagged. If I have to do it–the rest of you should suffer enjoy as well.

Ok, so here it is… the final installment of TDMMDI–the Meme edition:

  1. IZ is right… I only drink Coke products out of plastic cups. In fact, I have a preference for every beverage.
  2. If
    I get out of bed for anything and I was sleeping on my right side, when
    I get back into bed I have to sleep on my left side. Even if a
    whole day has passed. Since I have a preference for sleeping on
    my right side, if I wake up in the middle of the night and need to you
    know… (pee) then I flip onto my left side for a few minutes so when I
    come back to bed I can sleep on my right side.
  3. I never leave the house without lipstick on and earrings in my ears. I’m such a girl.
  4. I
    always send up a little prayer when I hear the mail person delivering
    our mail, “Please, let there be a package for me!” How pathetic is that?
  5. I
    rarely wear a watch–instead I rely on my internal clock. I’m
    rarely off by more than 15 minutes–and I while you would NEVER know it
    by my outward demeanor–I’m throwing internal conniption fits when
    people are late. You know how they say cleanliness is next to
    godliness? It’s a lie. Punctuality is. Yes it is. Stop arguing with me.

*Ok, so I snort when I laugh… You don’t?


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Pass the Seltzer Water

Jan 7, 2006 | You Can't Make This Stuff Up


It’s 11:52 pm.

IZ: (turning off that ridiculous Stargate Atlantis) So, do you want me to put on Numbers a taped show?

ok, ok, it was Numbers. You wanna make something of it? Shut up.

Me: Nice… try to rope me into something when you know I’m going to bed. Sheesh… we’d rather watch tv than have soup*.

IZ:
WHAT? Hey, I didn’t know soup was on the menu. I thought
with the way you are feeling the only things you’d be up to are crackers
and seltzer water. Let’s go.

Me: Eh. You’re right. With the migraines and the world spinning and all the nausea–it’s like being pregnant again.

I’ll interrupt this little dialog to tell you at this point IZ turned an odd shade of grey. Visibly shaken I would say.

IZ: (hopping up and down.) That’s not possible? Right? NO!

Me:
For crying out loud–stop freaking out! It’s not possible.
I’m just under medicated–I’m not pregnant.

IZ: Yeah, that’s what Burt Reynolds thought on Evening Shade–and look what happened there.

Stargate
Atlantis, Numbers, and an Evening Shade reference in a three minute
conversation. My evening is complete. And you wonder why my
world is spinning.

Could someone hand me the seltzer water please?

*code for sex… but you knew that.



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