Cinderella

May 12, 2006 | You Can't Make This Stuff Up

There is what I want to do, need to do, and will do; each one keeps cramming her foot into the glass slipper screaming, “It fits!”. Guess which one is Cinderella?

What You Should Be Reading

May 3, 2006 | You Can't Make This Stuff Up

Once in awhile you stumble on a blog that’s so brilliantly composed you shudder in delight or snort tea up your nose for laughing! If there is any blog worth reading this week it’s Edicts of Nancy. I send my eternal gratitude–and a repair bill for $120 to rid my computer keyboard of spewed tea– to the ever pious Beancounter.

So go there now. NOW. Seriously, GO!

UPDATE:

(ok, so it occurs to me, now, that it might not be obvious that Edicts is satire.  Satirical folks, so don’t send me hate mail. m’kay?  Glad we got that cleared up.)

WWWE

Apr 14, 2006 | You Can't Make This Stuff Up

Or: What Would Wende Eat

Today:

  • 1 Kashi Bar
  • 2 cups of Bonkers Super Skinny: The Ultimate Diet Tea in Ultra Chai
  • 1 homemade IZ nonfat mocha–(he makes a mean foamy mocha!)
  • Costco Fountain Diet Coke
  • Costco Hot Dog with deli styled mustard


It’s the new food pyramid in action. (and yes, I do see the irony of drinking Diet Tea and eating a Hot dog. But it’s not like I ate them TOGETHER!)


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The Poor Thing

Mar 21, 2006 | You Can't Make This Stuff Up


So, I spent the day thinking I was having a high blood pressure attack.
All afternoon, I would have these floating black images appearing at
the top of my field of vision–seriously. I know I’m under a lot
of stress–but this is too much.

Imagine my relief then,
when IZ walks into our entry way and says through the door, “Was that a
bat?” “A bat?!” I answer. “Whew! I thought I
was having ‘issues’.” Oh shut it–I know I still have issues,
nobody likes a smarty pants–and it’s rude to interrupt a person in the
middle of a story.

Ok, so where was I? Yeah, so we have a
bat. It did one more fly-by which completely unhinged me–as it
flew right in front of my face–and my unhinging unhinged the
cat. Who, we have discovered, is completely useless. The
poor bat ended up flying into my office upstairs and weirdly enough,
under my bed. So, we think, let’s open a window and then get the
stupid cat to flush the poor thing out the window. Snickers
proceeds to crawl under the bed and promptly sit on top of the
cardboard box the poor thing is hiding under. Yeah, real useful. She was completely full of herself, all smug and smirky, until the poor thing started singing its own personal distress song–oh, then the cat freaks out and will have nothing to do with helping us get the poor thing out
of the house. USELESS CAT… remind me to replace you, cat, with
a DOG. A tiny dog, the size of say, A BAT. Stupid fluff
ball.

This left us no choice but to get out a broom. The poor thing finally gets airborne and then decides to fly the same pattern a
couple of dozen times–each pass getting lower and lower as it
approached the corner I was crouching in trying to take close up
pictures with my zoom lens. ARG… Anyhow, I managed to
get a few pics–IZ finally managed to get the bat to alter its course
just enough to fly out the window.

We have No idea how the poor thing,
which is its name now, by the way, got into the house. But, I’m
relieved to know that instead of having a blood pressure issue I only
had a small case of the poor thing.



IZ wants you to know that he was only trying to guide the poor thing out the window.




The poor thing was really quite sweet. Which, I can say now that it’s out of the house.


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