This Life | Evidently

Stella

Jul 3, 2007 | This Life

Yesterday, I could have sworn I saw you standing in the crowded checkout line just a few people ahead of me, waiting for our turns at the register. My head told me, despite the resemblance it couldn’t be you. But there you were, lovely as ever, standing so tall and courtly I raised my hand to wave hello. Clothes just so, your hair gleaming white, with the most perfect shade of pink lipstick expertly applied—a picture of you that I’ll always carry.

My head knew it couldn’t be you. My heart now knows it was you saying goodbye.

Go in peace, dear one. Go in Peace.

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Latte Love

Jul 3, 2007 | This Life

It’s been a HARD weekend. Lots of set backs and minor annoyances and allergy attacks—Ack! However, I have to say, that in the busyness and the chaos of last week a few things have kept me going. Yes, lattes being one of them.

As you may or may not have gleaned from last Monday’s post, I have an ad running on Modish this month for Thrifty Goodness—the build up to that has kept me running at a pace I don’t enjoy. The grind has left me feeling a wee bit uncentered about the idea and well, a wee bit self-pitying. Ok, a lot of self pity.

Yet, in a chaotic week that ended with my new furniture being too large to get through the door of my “space” (and had Wende in tears wondering why she doesn’t have a day job like everybody else) I have been surprised by the kindness of both strangers and friends. A few of you have made this week bearable by your support of my venture. It warms a girl’s heart to discover that her friends are promoting the daffodils out of her venture—especially when she’s not feeling so groovy about it! I just want to say thank you for the support.

So, Susan, Wendee, Mary Beth, and Cap… thank you! This Latte Love is for you.

Once in a Full Moon

Jun 30, 2007 | This Life

Regular readers will have noticed the lack of updating and response to questions on this blog. All I can say is that I’m pooped! As I pointed out earlier in the week, this is hell week as I approach tomorrow’s ad running for Thrifty Goodness. I did manage to get everything photographed for the store. Perhaps not as well as I would like, but… it’s done. We will rejoice in small favors.

As well, I’m nearly done making way for a delivery today. But not quite. A huge piece of furniture is on the way and that meant I had to take a SERIOUS look at my working space, which remains nameless. I still don’t know what to call it. Studio? Office? Sewing Room? Sanctuary??

Anyhow, I started to photograph just what a disaster it was and still is, but I just can’t do it. . . . pride is funny thing. But mortification is quite another. While I might be a bit shamed to show ye internets my disasterpiece, what really haunts me is the idea of seeing that photo on my blog every time I log on. Frankly, I use this blog as a way to hide from all that mess upstairs, I certainly don’t want a visual reminder of what I really should be doing! I’d never get a post done, then.

So, this afternoon this mammoth piece of furniture will arrive and then we will see if we can actually get it up the stairs! This little bit of logistics worries me, but there is no time for that presently, since I’m almost done making space, but not quite.

It’s always “not quite” around here. Which leads me back to the posting and the comments. I want to say a very BIG thank you to y’all for your suggestions regarding footwear! You all rock! Astoria is devoid of real shoe options. The one store in town that might fix me up, I’ve yet to visit… you know, I’ve “not quite” managed to get there this week. But first thing next, I’m headed there to buy at least a pair that can hold me over until our next trip into the big city!

As well, thank you all for your well wishes to the boy about his yellow stripe. I think that’s the post where I basically lost track of responding and I’ll start there to catch up. In the meantime, this universal, “Awww, thanks!” is going to have to do.

~~Tomorrow will bring a Sunday Sermon~~Â I’m taking the weekend off due to a small head cold, but next week this blog should be back on track. Until then, blessings to each of you.

Stripes are In

Jun 27, 2007 | Boy Wonder, This Life

Yellow Stripes are all the rage at Chez Wonder. He tested 2 months ago and I think had given up hope of ever hearing back. But, we got the call yesterday. . . good news. . . He passed!

The ceremony last night was really sweet. However, most of photos have other local children in them and no way to really crop them out—kids I don’t know, so no way to seek permission either. Anyhow, it was lovely, you’ll just have to trust me on that. Three kids got their next belt and they’re at that age where they’re fiercely proud but have NO intention of letting on; a mixture of “Aw Shucks” and “Look at me!” played out on every face as they bowed to their instructor and received their certificates. Straight faces all around, except for the sly grin attempting to escape at the corners of their mouths.

I tend to cry at these things, but managed to keep myself together for the boy’s sake. You know, it would never do. But I don’t think you could wipe the grin off my face last night.

Beauty

Jun 25, 2007 | This Life

This is not me. Not today.

Today, I am in several places at once but none of which are my porch, none of which are taking in the view and a cuddle with Sophie. Instead, I’m frantically attempting to restock Thrifty Goodness, organize my work space to make room for an impending arrival, and keep my sanity all in one desperate gasp for oxygen. Deadlines loom and the sunlight fades and panic is my new best friend forever. Or, at least until I’m finished with this madness that, yes, I’ve brought on myself.

Recently I was asked what it means to be “productive, but not busy.” While I’ve been thinking about that theme for some time I don’t have an answer, at least not today. My hunch is that it has something to do with going about your day in a way where you still see the beauty around you. Something to do with flowing seamlessly from one task to the next with the intention of being present, not rushed; being focused on the other, not your “to-do” list. Something to do with walking, not running. Something that does not look like what I’ve been doing today.

Rush, rush, rush. The list of things I’ve done keeps growing. I’m not certain this is an accomplishment, for each task is quickly replaced by two more. Nor do I aspire to large lists of tasks completed. I suppose there are times in our lives where we cannot manage the deliberate pace of contemplation. There are moments when life hands you a list and expects you to accomplish—this strikes me as a way to survive, not necessarily as a way to really LIVE! I don’t think it’s healthy nor wise to exist at this pace; completing one task only to rush on to the next. Hording my accomplishments as if they were of value. Fortunately, it will be short lived in my case.

Yet, there is something to be said for still being aware, even in the rush to do. The rush to accomplish. Surely, there is more beauty in the world waiting just past this humongous list of things I’ve accomplished today? Perhaps if I stop, for just this moment, I will see it and it will see me?

Beauty:

Beauty is startling. She wars a gold shawl in the summer and sells seven kins of honey at the flea market. She is young and old at once, my daughter and my grandmother. In school she excelled in mathematics and poetry. Beauty doesn’t anger easily, but she was annoyed with the journalist who kept asking her about her favorites—as if she could have one favorite color or one favorite flower. She does not mind questions though, and she is fond of riddles. Beauty will dance with anyone who is brave enough to ask her. ~ J. Ruth Gendler

I don’t know about you, but I’m hoping to be brave enough to ask for a dance very, very soon.

(A special thank you to Kathleen for the photograph.)