Love from Paris: Gorgeous gifts from the amazing Elizabeth Germo of En Route.
To say Sunday morning was bad, well, would be short selling it. As I sat waiting for IZ to come back with breakfast, the reality that our 3 month stay in a clean hotel was coming to an end, and that I, mother of a teenager, was moving my child and assorted pets back into this distasterpiece sunk in. I felt like the worst mother in the world. I mean, who lets their kid live in this filth and destruction?
“Baby, it’s going to be OK. Here, eat a chocolate croissant,” as he hands me a pastry and an almond latte. But there are some things that pastry can’t solve. Â With the realization that all my hopes and plans to have our space somewhat sorted, or at least my child’s room cleared of construction debris, were just pie in the sky dreaming—the universe clearly didn’t get the memo— came a flood of tears. IZ kept saying, “Sweetie, think of it as camping in your own house.”
Um.
No.
It’s not camping. It’s a freakin’ obstacle course. If I get a chance to video the horror, I will. But in the meantime, trust me, you don’t want to live here right now.
I’m saving that chocolate bar for our first latte in our new kitchen!
And I can imagine some readers ( or some specific people actually) rolling their eyes and telling me to get a grip. But I’m the girl who never wanted to renovate a space, ever. And I don’t function well in chaos. If it gets really bad, I kinda just shut down on the productivity side of things—because I can’t focus in the mess. I don’t keep a perfectly clean home by any stretch. Holy cow, NO! But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I function  BETTER when my space is ordered.
I had a friend, (no longer, there are small graces, really) who used to criticize me for wanting my house clean before she would visit. And I tried, and failed, to explain that it had little to do with impressing her, and more to do with MY need for things to be tidy. Not perfect, just picked up. Being called pretentious and arrogant for wanting an ordered space was so hurtful.  I could never figure out why that made me a bad person, but apparently it did. Maybe she felt I was judging her? For what it’s worth, my obsessiveness doesn’t mean YOUR space needs to be tidy. I don’t mind YOUR clutter. Heck, I don’t even notice it. But if you come visit, I might not let you in if I can’t see my floor. Just sayin’.
And that’s my failing. Or my growth edge. So multiply that exponentially and you get my state of mind over moving my child (who is a bit like me in this regard. He doesn’t need things clean, HA!, but he does better when his space is ordered. Even if he’s genetically disabled at keeping it that way!) into an active construction zone. Seriously folks, I’m not kidding when I say this house looks like a hoarder lives in it! A hoarder with power saws.
I love the “postcard” bag. . . and I’m wearing this necklace. I may never take it off. You can find more of Elizabeth’s work in her wonderful store on Etsy: En Route
So, it was a bit of serendipity that I forgot to check the mail on Saturday, and found this amazing package from the lovely Elizabeth Germo in the box right after my melt-down over chocolate croissants. Timing is everything.
I feel awkward with this post. Like, maybe I shouldn’t tell you about my “issues” AND the generosity of Elizabeth in the same post. Maybe those things shouldn’t share the same space? But the thing is, there is something amazing, something so hopeful? about receiving a package of such beauty when you’re surrounded by the debris of your life and home. The juxtaposition is breath taking and the timing, extraordinary.
There is chaos and destruction and friends who are not really friends.
And then there is beauty. And generosity. And friendship that spans the globe and touches you when you most need it.
I am not speechless, clearly. But I am moved to tears. This time, the good kind.
Lovely, you did just the right thing by sharing your woes but balancing them by also sharing Elizabeth’s pretties. It sounds like she was a lifeline in a terrible day, and that’s always a good thing to hear about. I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m over here cheering you on, because I know it has to be a chore to just get up and face the chaos some days, and having a cheerleader never hurts!
As to your need to have a tidied house – you’re not off there, either. Some people aren’t bothered, but I think many of us just function better when the house feels comfortable and sparkling but not magazine-pristine. Sometimes, the people who aren’t bothered just don’t get it. That doesn’t make you wrong. *hug*
It helps so much to know I have a cheerleader. And the bits of whimsy you’ve posted on you FB wall have helped so much… usually when I need a laugh the most. Thank you for being in my corner. YOU are amazing.
I know – chocolate croissants and lattes are just not quite enough to overcome the current state of affairs. I’m sorry.
The Universe sure dumped a lot of lemons on us. I think we’ve been through 1,001 ways to use a lemon at least twice by now.
What’s cool is that with the load of lemons it at least also provided moments of grace such as that brought by Elizabeth. I’m glad you have some folks like that in your life that will do that for you.
I think we’ve done a great job of holding on to the good in this process. But, I’ve had my moments, too. And moving my child into this, really is an all time low for me. It helps that he’s nearly 15, so isn’t “in danger” like he would be at 6. But then I realize how much we’ve left him to his own devices over the past 3 months and it makes me so, so sad. I think I’ve consoled myself with “Yes, we’re not paying as much of attention, but we’ll move him back into a nice space”.
We will get through this, and it’s already shaping up. I’m so thankful YOU have been here every step of the way. ~W
I’m glad you have such thoughtful friends (the current ones, at least). I completely understand the desire to have things tidy and put-away before you have company. I’m a person who functions much better in a tidy space, especially if I have a great deal to do. No essay was ever written if there were so much as a pair of socks on the floor! However, I can often tell when I’m really busy and never home by how chaotic my bedroom is. Right now, it’s dirty laundry-tastic and pile’o’books trippable. I keep the door closed and long for the moments I can do a quick tidy.
I would respect your need for tidy if I knocked on the door; however, I always pack a little elbow grease in my purse for those friends who need a hand with a literal pick-me-up. 🙂
It’s funny, when I was in graduate school and finals would roll around, IZ would ask, “What can I do to make this easier.” And my standard reply was “Clean the house?” And he always did. Whipped it into shape so I could focus on that last dash. Because when your study space is the dining room table in the kitchen, yeah… you need help! So, I get it. Though, I suspect “cleaning” my space is also a form of procrastination on my part. 😀
And note to self: Carly cleans! 😀 xoxo ~W
Oh, HOW WONDERFUL!! I love the French gift, as you probably knew I would. I have never heard myself described so well as you did in this post. Order makes ME feel more in control; chaos adds a huge amount of stress to my life. I love tidy!
I’m such an introvert and homebody, that when someone comes to visit, (even if I adore them and invited them and WANT, WANT to see them) it always feels a bit intrusive. It’s not them. It’s ME. I have a hard time with that. Which is partly why I’ve never wanted to renovate a house, it’s tons of people (I don’t know) walking through my home.
IZ doesn’t seem to have such a problem with it. But I think this house is an extension of my self–and it feels very personal. I probably need to work on that a bit. Because I’m sure it makes people uncomfortable. But order does help. In my studio, particularly, it’s inspiring. And I’m not neat or organized innately. I’m CONSTANTLY cleaning up after my own messes. But I like order and organization, so it’s something I don’t mind doing because I know I’ll feel better when I’ve done it. 😀