Day Sixty-five: Deep Weeds

About a month ago I was contacted by a lovely company called Shabby Apple about doing a dress review. Now, you should know, Evidently gets contacted on a regular basis about advertising. Usually, it’s from companies or ad agencies that haven’t even bothered to read my blog. Because if they had, they would know that my readers probably aren’t interested in seeing ads for car parts and professional cook-ware on this blog.

My response to date, as you can tell from the dearth of ads here, is to pass on the offer. If the email sent is relatively non-spammy, I draft a quick, “it’s me, not you” letter, otherwise I click “spam” and completely forget about it. But the email that came from Shabby Apple was different. First, it was clear from the email that the writer had spent at least a small amount of time on my blog. Flattery gets you everywhere, just sayin’. It was a nice enough note that I actually stopped to consider the offer. Second, Evidently readers like dresses. You even wear them and talk about them on your blogs! I’m sensing kismet! 

I’ll admit, I’m not opposed to monitizing Evidently. But I’ve always balked at text ads and gratuitous banner ads. I know I don’t bother to look at them on the blogs I read, and in some cases I’ve stopped reading blogs because they got too cluttered with advertising. So, I’ve stayed opened to the right company and the right offer. And finally, I’ve found one!

Here’s how it works, they send me a dress of my choice. I wear the dress. I write about the dress on Evidently. They have enough faith in their product they didn’t prescribe any boundaries. No, “hey, if you hate the dress, don’t say anything” edicts. Turns out, they don’t need to… but I’ll save that for the actual review. So, I popped over to their amazing store, picked out a dress, and said, “FREE DRESS? Yes, please!”

Now, I’ll admit, I was partially motivated by the free. Um… hello, y’all recall my budgetary reality? Right? And getting a dress sent to me  from a real store seemed like the only opportunity for a new dress on my horizon. (Ok, there was that teal dress I bought at Freddy’s… but it was $15! I’m thinking dresses bought on deep discount or at thrift stores shouldn’t count.) But there is more, so much more. And I’m excited to share that with you tomorrow. You know, when I write the actual review.

But today, I’m in deep weeds. Those are my pasty white legs in our overgrown lawn. Yeah, when I agreed to do the review, I didn’t think too hard about my pasty legs or that they’d be starring in a review on Evidently. Long time readers know I have a thing about using my own photography. Not because I’m a great photographer, but because  this is a blog about my life. My life is not a picture perfect magazine cover. It’s messy, it has dust bunnies  and mountains of laundry and unmade beds. And sure, I crop like mad to keep most of that out of the frame, but no one reading Evidently would confuse it for being a professional style guide.

And you love that about me, right?

So, the dress has been hanging in my bedroom for several weeks while I’ve worked up the courage (and while I’ve waiting for the slacker sun to appear) to let IZ take photos of me. He’s a terrible photographer (but an amazing cook, so I’ll keep him!) and I’m vain. Uber vain. I hate my picture taken, I’m an awkward model, and I’m still learning to be alright with my zaftig self.

It seems me and my highfalutin ideals have painted myself into a really tight corner. But then I started googling for other reviews about Shabby Apple and discovered a terrifying reality: everybody uses the stock photography! It’s pretty, I’ll give you that. But how is a real girl supposed to know what a dress will look like on her real body if she only can see it on a size 6? It’s not much of a review if I tell you, “The dress is green and looks really pretty on the model.”

Which means, I’m wading into deep weeds tomorrow. Real girl. Real dress. Real brave.

You’ll be there to hold my hand, right?