This photo is a bit blurry—but I adore his expression, so this is what I’m posting. His smile has been fleeting this afternoon, so I’m hanging on to what I’ve got, blurry or not.
Boy Wonder has had the most unfortunate of accidents: he sat down in the chair of a scissor happy stylist. His long hair is no longer and he’s none-too-pleased. It took about an hour after the cut for it to sink in: he no longer looks like himself. He didn’t ask for a short cut, and he had no expectations that his hair would look much different than before. He certainly didn’t expect to see a different boy in the mirror and he’s having a hard time absorbing the sense of violation.
It took me six seconds to recognize there was problem when he walked in the door. I looked at my child and back at my husband and then I hit the roof! I FOOLISHLY let IZ take him to get his hair cut. Boy Wonder is not the most concrete about expressing what he wants when it comes to his hair. His father was no better. Apparently, they told the stylist, “choppy, rocky, not girlie” when what they should have said was, “this cut, only about a half inch shorter.”
There were words. Many words. I can’t look at my kid without my heart breaking. He really loved his long hair and it was such a part of him. It wouldn’t be so bad if this is what he wanted. But, it isn’t. He’s crushed and I’m torn between being crushed with him and wanting to crush his father. Clearly, we have established that from now on, the boy’s haircuts will be handled solely by the boy’s mother. And the boy’s mother reserves the right to glare in all directions for a few days. Lucky IZ, he leaves on business tonight.
And it might seem silly, to be upset about a haircut. I’m sure somebody will want to point out how unimportant it is in the long run. Please don’t. Because while you and I know that hair grows back, and it does not “make the pre-teen”, this is a real loss for my child. And if you could have seen him falling apart, you’d wouldn’t judge him for his distress. I’ve always been a sympathetic crier: but my own kid lamenting just wrenches my heart out.
The thing is, I get it! We sat and lamented together. I told him about how once someone did the same thing to my hair, only my hair had been down to the middle of my back. How, I had to walk home after, right past the school. And the woman had used a funky curling iron on it making it all fluffy—so I ended up walking to the school to dunk my head under the water faucet before heading home. It was THAT bad.
“Do you have a picture of your hair?” he asked.
“Yes! I had my school photo taken that year with that hideous cut. And then your grand-dad had to go hang it in his office, where the whole town could see it!” I told him.
“Was it worse than my hair?”
“Way worse. I was mortified. And humiliated.” I answered.
“Could I see this photo?” the twinkle in his voice gave him away. We laughed a little about our misery.
When the reality set in, he was furious and then distraught and then in need of a new hat. An emergency trip to Fred Meyer remedied the hat situation. His hair is going to take a bit longer. The new “do” is so dang girlie and so short, it will be months before he needs another cut—months before we get another picture without a hat. I’ve already warned him that he can’t wear a hat at church, but otherwise, I’m ignoring that “no hats indoors” rule for a few days. He needs time to adjust to the person he sees. And frankly so do I.
I’m so sad for BW! Somehow his hair seemed to capture that “something special” quality of his. It’ll grow back, but it’s still so sad! Are we going to get to see the haircut? Maybe for a special Sunday Sermon or something? Just a thought.. think about it 😀 (I’ve obviously become obsessed with everything other than the Taylor-Johnson Temperament Analysis… in case you wondering about my comment happy ways 🙂
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I feel for him too. Poor, poor kid. So, the T-JTA for you or for a patient? Or are you learning how to use it? It’s been so long, I can’t recall but I’m pretty sure I didn’t score all that well with self-discipline. 😀 ~W
You’re bad teen haircut! Not his! Oh dear!
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I am not a bad teen haircut! PFFT. 😉 ~W
*Your not you’re… I’m going to bed.
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Never gonna happen. 😀 ~W
Hair is really an interesting thing, how it adds to or detracts from our identity. My oldest daughter has curly, CURLY (i mean, *corkscrew* curly) hair. When she was really little, that’s all anyone ever said about her – “Look at your hair!” – and sometimes people would even reach out to touch it. She says kids at school still do that sometimes (she’s in 8th grade!). For her, she often wishes that people would look PAST her hair to see HER.
My heart goes out to your boy. There’s nothing silly about him (or you!) being affected by this.
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I’ve been admiring the photos of your kiddos on your side bar. And what stands out about your eldest is her eyes. She’s beautiful (they all are… you make beautiful kids, Stacey!) and expressive and those eyes get to me. It’s a nice touch on your blog, and I’m glad you did it. 😀
Anyhow, thank you for the sympathy. He’ll be ok, he rebounds well. It’s just going to take some adjusting. ~W
Once Josh cut my hair when we were newlyweds (the reason why I let him do the cutting eludes me), and I cried for hours. And I was in my 20’s. So, I sympathize with the Boy.
I hope his hair grows quickly.
AND I FEEL SORRY FOR IZ.
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Heh, IZ will be happy to know he has some sympathy. ~W
He has such a cute smirky smile. The hat is a great touch, too. Maybe he could drink lots and lots and lots of gelatin to make his hair grow faster.
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Heh, he asked for Jello last night… perhaps he subconsciously knew? I used drink gelatin to try to get my nails to grow. All I ended up with was a jiggly stomach. 😀 ~W
aw.
[raising a glass of red Kool Aid] Here’s to the inevitable ‘hair tragedy’ we all experience at some point or other…he is now officially in the club.
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Poor kid. A year ago he wouldn’t have cared all that much. But 11 is so different! ~W
What a sweet, sympathetic way to deal with the Boy Wonder’s trauma. I only wish you had shared your mortifying photo with us. No way, huh?
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Yeah, not gonna happen. Nice try, tho. 😀 ~W
Wende,
I so get this and I feel for you and BW. It’s not just hair, it’s your “essence”. Imagine having no hair on your head – then hair is everything. I know when my hair is dirty or not lookin’ so cute, I’m in a funk all day! It sets my mood – it determines how I feel about what I am doing – it affects how I feel about others around me. It shouldn’t, I suppose, because it’s just hair. Thank goodness for “hat weather”.
How compassionate of you to jump in and be able to share your own mortifying story. I think that was just what he needed from you. You’re a great mom. BW is so cute and has such an angelic look about him. How unfortunate. Don’t be too hard on IZ. He didn’t mean to do it!
I’m talking too much.
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Please, people write books in my comment section…it’s not a problem and I kinda like it. And thank you… his angelic look is part of the problem. His long edgy hair kept him looking like a boy. Now he really does look like a pixie… and that’s not a good thing when you’re nearly 11 and working on your street cred. ~W
Hair disasters ARE traumatic because our hairstyle does define who we feel we are. I have short, perky hair for example, but my last cut was way too short and I felt like a sheared sheep. It was depressing to look in the mirror. In college I wanted a permanent for some bizarre reason. The solution just ran off my hair so they had to redo it about 3 times; when they finally got done I looked like a POODLE. It was awful.
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Yikes, and perms are so hard to grow out! My mom used to wear her hair short and she would say the same thing… A good, no matter your length, really does make a difference. ~W
The boys around here mousse their hair up like a mohawk kinda thing. Maybe that would be fun! Have you seen Ty Pennington?
~Kim
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Oh, it’s a good idea Kim… and I pitched it. It’s funny, because 5 years ago that’s ALL he wanted. But sadly, he’s not into it… and the cut he has wouldn’t allow it, since the stylist went in and made the top all “choppy”… (read: UNEVEN!). He’s pretty much under the cover of a hat until he gets to used to seeing himself. When he as bit more hair in a month or so, I’ll take him into the city and see what they can do in the meantime. ~W
when Zach was three, his dad buzz cut his hair. I cried. I love my boys sleek, Japanese, dark brown hair when it’s nice and full on top of his head. you just don’t go shaving off all that beautifulness! I still, to this day, won’t let him touch my baby boy’s hair.
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Oh, I would have cried too! When my brother was about 2 (I was 4) my dad let his friend buzz Mark’s hair. They had to hold me back, I screamed and wailed. Completely inconsolable about it. We lived in a very hot swampy place and Mark was a natural heater, so they did it for his benefit during the summer. But, I was so upset… I sobbed until I couldn’t breathe. I felt like he had no choice in the matter and at 2 couldn’t say if he wanted to be freakin’ bald for the summer! I had full use of a vocabulary, and boy did I rant! They never did it again, either.
She couldn’t strip him of his cuteness if she tried… but I can totally relate to his misery. Why is it so hard to find a good hairdresser up here?!
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This town is tough. The stylist did call and leave a message apologizing. She comped them both for their haircuts. She said she felt, that in retrospect, she had gone too far and took too much license and it was clear that she shouldn’t have cut his hair so short or modified his look so drastically. I don’t know that our boy will ever trust her again, but at least she recognized the mistake. I feel badly for them both, now. ~W
Shoot…I think everyone gets a bad haircut at least once (and hopefully not too much more than that) I realized after a super bad one when I was a teen…hair grows out. R E A L L Y S L O W L Y…Luckily I looked good in hats too…I also found an amazing stylist…he’s been cutting my coif so long now, he knows the kind of patience I have for styling my hair…and talks me out of near misses…good luck to the sweet boy…and be happy that it’s winter time, he won’t look out of place in a stocking cap!
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Yes, indeed. Thank goodness for hat weather. 😀 ~W
Maybe it will help him to know that I am 43 and I still can’t adequately express to my stylist what I want her to do with my hair. I like my hair okay but she does what she wants not what I want and because they are close, I tolerate it. So annoying.
Poor kid. This is a lesson that’s hard to take at any age.
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Well, he’s tolerated “close” for so many years, that when he finally found the look he wanted he chose not to deviate. The new cut is no where near “close” so it’s a huge adjustment for him. ~W
Words fail me, so I’ll just sit here and cry….. I remember all the bad cuts and the violation still hurts
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I know, it’s so sad. He’s coping, but it’s so alien to look at him! It’s just hair, but he really does look like a completely different boy. ~W
At least he looks good in a hat. I just love his smile!!!
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Yeah, he rocks the head gear! 😀 ~W
OMG!!! POOR BW!!!
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Indeed!