It’s been a fierce morning. Occasionally, our mild mannered but overly talkative 10 year old will explode with theatrics that rival Mt. Vesuvius. There was some misunderstanding that led to the classification of treasure as trash… and trash gets discarded. Oh my.
Poor IZ. It’s moments like this when I’m thankful to be raising a boy—otherwise, most of this drama would be aimed at me, and I’m by no means the most patient of Boy Wonder’s parents. He can throw a lot at his dad without a nuclear meltdown being imminent.
But the drama led to a nice conversation. He’s 10 and I thought he’d reached the age where snuggling had to be on his terms. Turns out, I was misinformed.
Me: Well, this was a nice snuggle. How come you don’t snuggle anymore?
Boy Wonder: Because I’m not invited!
Me: Oh. I thought you had reached the age where we only snuggled if you wanted to, but what you’re telling me is that you’ve reached the age where we snuggle only if I invite you.
Boy Wonder: Right!
Me: Good to know.
Oh, I know they never outgrow the need to be loved on. But, it’s a tough line to walk knowing when and where and how without damaging those delicate boundaries being established we like to call autonomy. I had parents who didn’t understand the need to respect those boundaries and I struggle to this day because of it. I suspect this makes me more sensitive to the situation. I mean, don’t we all over-react to our own parenting at times? Surely, I’m not the only one out there playing the, “I’ll never do THAT” game!
Anyhow, we had a lovely little chat between the sniffles and hiccups. After we solved how to rescue his treasure we went on to plan our next big vacation. By the time IZ joined us for a family mocha break we were well into the giggling over the realization that Boy Wonder would be a teenager when we went to France. The thought of girls Ooh la la-ing his 13 year old self sent us into to fits of laughter. When I relayed a bit of our conversation, I was quickly corrected.
Boy Wonder: I did not say that! She makes things up.
IZ: Your mother is prone to do that. As are you!
Boy Wonder: No, she changes how things were said, I just leave things out.
I’m glad we got that straightened out.
Now, said treasure is in the very disgusting trash outside waiting for me to go through it. Yes, just call me Ms. Peace Keeper. I hear the UN is looking for good fierce help!
You are an awesome person to serve as Ms. Peace Keeper. There are days I get caught with my pants down in the DMZ and this was one of them. “Bad Daddy moment”. I needed Robbie the Robot from Lost in Space, “Warning Will Robinson, Danger! Danger!” Alas, the “treasure” passed from hand to trash all too fast and then it was down hill from there… Thanks for helping to restore peace and tranquility.
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Oh please, I didn’t do anything you haven’t done a dozen times! I’ve certainly thrown away my fair share of “treasure” in my day! I mean, this is the kid who systematically inspects every trash bag I touch: I’m so trusted. 😀 Considering how badly his day started, he ended up being very peachy today–so, I’m glad of that much! ~W
My own BW is 11 and right now we are suffering from post sleepover/daylight savings inspired surliness.. I waffle between being surly myself and sad because I miss the cuddly Jake sometimes.
But I am excited to say I got some movie snuggles and he built a big box fort. Thank God he IS still just a kid.
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Box forts are the best! And I’m right there with you, I’m happy to still have a kid… but those years are looming. Today, we were walking down the street, and for just one moment he held my hand while crossing the street… then he was off running again. When he was little I couldn’t peel him off me, and it was exhausting. Now, I live for those little moments. ~W
I love hearing stories of parents’ trials and tribulations. I don’t have children yet, but I deal with a classroom full of them every day, and sometimes I forget that kids give their parents (not just their teachers) a run for their money, too. What a thoughtful mom you are.
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Oh, I think you have the roughest job. BW is homeschooled–and I’d much rather have the mom gig than the teaching gig. Some days we do OK–other days, I’m trying to convince his dad that we can too drive 2 hours each way to take him to private school. heh. Â
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Oh, how did your 3rd graders do on their state tests? So, so stressful! ~W
I played the “I’ll never do that game” to the point of throwing the baby out with the bathwater. I went completely the other direction, which wasn’t good parenting either. Thankfully, I have realized this while I am still in my parenting years. It’s never too late to tweak this parenting thing!
I remember going ballistic on my mom when she threw out an old stuffed cat that had lost it’s tail, and was ripped open up the middle. She thought a ten yo wouldn’t care. I dug it out of the trash, rehabilitated it, and at 40, she sits on my shelf. Sometimes trash is indeed treasure. You rock for going through the trash for your kiddo.
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I do rock… but I got LUCKY. Darned if that missing bit of treasure wasn’t in the second thing I pulled out! I had to restrain the boy from snatching it out of my hands… I was all, “EWWWW, let me wash that thing first!” Heh! He carried it around for the rest of the afternoon. I’m sure he’s put it down somewhere and I will hear wailing soon, “Mom, where did I put my thing???” Joy! ~W
It’s hard to know how much obvious love to give, especially at delicate ages. My 17 year old will lean on me “accidentally” when she wants a hug–but it does have to be on her terms. (sigh) Our older girl is much more affectionate now than she used to be; that’s a good thing. I have thrown many “treasures” away and had to hunt through small and BIG garbage cans/bags. Yuck.
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Yeah, it is a fine line. He’s always been super affectionate that I didn’t have to work at it! He’d love anyone up as a baby–it kinda scared me. But now, he’s getting more reserved… all that social brainwashing, programming? :D And I’m trying hard to maintain appropriate boundaries. But, it’s good to know I’m still allowed to snuggle from time to time. Because, let’s face it… grandbabies are far, far away!! ~W
Some of my happiest memories are traveling with my parents overseas, he’s going to be in for such a treat visiting France with you someday. You lucky things!
Bring back a mini Eiffel tower for me?! pretty please! 😉
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Well, it’s 3.5 years away—so, who knows, right? I’m kinda hoping that we’ll pull it off, because these are banner anniversary/birthdays for all of us. BW and I are planning on working on our French together this Summer so we can, “Be dad’s interpreter!” Heh.  And if we go, I will most definitely bring you back a mini Eiffel tower. I wouldn’t dream of coming home without one for you! ~WÂ
He does look fierce, doesn’t he? But then that cute little half-smile gives him away. Glad he got his ‘treasure’ back! Oh, and if you’re taking orders, may I have a mini-Eiffel tower, too, please? 🙂
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Yeah, you can tell he’s trying hard not to crack a smile. As for the mini-Eiffel tower… does that mean you’re giving up your real address for me to send it to you? Because, last time I checked, you were still worried I was some internet wacko. Hee… 😉 ~W
My girls are in college and they refuse to cuddle anymore! I have to tackle them or surprise them from behind.
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Oof, that would be difficult… I guess surprise attacks are in my future! 😀 ~W
What a sweet post! Your son is adorable, in a fierce way 🙂
I can already see how much trouble I am going to cause as the kids get older! I am notorious for throwing things out. I don’t like clutter and I’m always chucking things. It drives my husband crazy!
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Oh, I am too! He inspects every trash bag I own–and when he was little, he would often sneak out and go through the trash to salvage when I got too clean happy! Poor kiddo! ~W
Ha! I cracked the secret code of how to comment on this blog. I can now return to my slumber, knowing I’ve accomplished something worthy today.
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I’m so glad you did! Sleep well. 😉 ~W
Your son is fiercely handsome, yet there is a gentleness about him that shows he has been loved tenderly, indeed.
Thanks for teaching me how to comment here without making me feel stupid. I enjoyed reading down your blog.
Your life is evidently beautiful!
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Thanks, Babette! (I’m glad to see you’re blogging again–I read your witty comments all the time and have been wishing I’d not missed out in reading your blog!). He’s a good kid and we feel pretty lucky. You’re right, in that he’s really, really gentle. He has this tender heart and all that fierceness rises up when he gets his heart trampled.Â
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As for the commenting… it’s not where people expect. I finally put up a “post” about it, because I was finding lots of people were using the search function trying to find a tutorial. ~W
Um … you are an internet wacko. (Takes one to know one) But since I really, really, really want a mini Eiffel tower, I will travel to Astoria and we can arrange a time for you to leave my gift on a park bench. And don’t call the cops, either. 😉
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Well, thanks for that vote of confidence. Heh. Seems to me, that you’d be better off flying to Paris instead of Astoria. As for the cops around here… um… I have NOTHING to say about that. 😀 ~W
Yep, with KIDS, drama happens. I have 2 girls, so I MAY have a litte more than you. 🙂 And, I threw treasure away a couple of weeks ago. Leave it to my kid to just now realize it. And who woulda thought ketchup packets from Burger King would be “treasure”?
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Actually, I do believe that! As for the girls… my guess is that you’ll see more of the drama sent your direction as they age… you know, becoming separate “women”, as IZ gets most of our boy’s wrath. ~W
Wow! BW has gotten SOOO big 🙂 I feel old. I am finally emerging from my self imposed exile. Depression can be a funny thing. I can finally realize now how horrible I have been.
I am so glad that you got in touch with me via my Myspace page! Thanks for keeping at it and bearing with me Wende!
Take care!
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Hi Jenn!! So glad you dropped by and left a comment.  Don’t be too hard on yourself: sometimes a person just needs to retreat and heal! I’m glad you’re feeling better. 😉 ~W