Me: Did you put the avocado in the refrigerator?

IZ: Yes. And that’s what happens when you leave me in charge of unloading the groceries.

Me: But where in the fridge? I’m not seeing them in the veggie drawer?

IZ: That’s because they’re not a vegetable. Look in the fruit drawer.

Me: Really? *eyeroll*

IZ: And while we’re on the subject–tomatoes are berries and that’s why I keep them in fruit drawer. Stop moving them.

Me: It’s come to this? Seriously?

IZ: And you know where cucumbers go?

Me: Don’t even do it…

IZ: Next to the melons.

Me: Geeze!

IZ: And you know where melons can go?

Me: I’m leaving now…

IZ: In. My. Hands.

And this, friends, is foreplay. I’m ashamed to say the boy got lucky after that conversation. I’ll insist that it was because he used the vacuum and made dinner that night. But it’s probably because I find his corny sense of humor charming. That and he calls what I have “melons” when clearly, they’re more like grapefruit.