laundry day

Day Thirty-nine: What Laundry?

OR Day Thirty-nine: When Wende Pushes Buttons—Just not the buttons on the washing machine.

Iz: “Hmm. . .”

Me: “What’s up?”

IZ: “Yea, I could have sworn I had another pair of underwear in this drawer. . . ”

Me: “Not likely, considering I’ve not done laundry in what? Ages?”

IZ: “No, I’m sure I saw a pair.”

Me: “Well, I could give you a pair of mine.”

I know when I suggest this he’s going to go into fit. The man has clearly defined boundaries when it comes to clothing—he’ll give up a sweater if we’re out and I get really cold because he’s gallant like that. But, otherwise, it’s a “hand’s off” policy and absolutely no sharing!  It’s officially called the “No touchy my laundry” Doctrine. I’m not even allowed to parade around in his button-down Oxfords that he never wears to work. He’s a quasi-only child and I blame this on never being compelled to share anything!

Recently, he  came into my studio, discovered one of his shirts hanging on the back of a door and demanded, “Uh, what are you doing with this?!”  He had left it for me  because it had a stain, but days later it’s me stealing his clothing. VERBOTEN!

So, you can understand why I take a certain amount of glee in this… right? Or, am I just a really bad wife?

IZ: shoots me one of his patented “if looks could kill you’d be seriously maimed” glares.

Me: “So, that would be a NO on the underwear?”

IZ: “That’s wrong. That’s all kinds of wrong.”

Me: “What? Come on, it’s underwear. Besides, I hear some guys kinda like it.”

IZ: “There’s something seriously wrong with YOU.”

Ok, he didn’t actually say that last line. He said things I can’t type that implied it. And so, I’m cleaning things up for him because my kid sometimes reads this blog and I’m already in hot water for not doing the laundry. In my defense, it’s a known fact that some men wear girl’s underwear—and I’d certainly wear a pair of his if I ran of clean undies, Doctrine be damned! It’s not that out of the realm of possible, is it?

Me: “So, I guess that means I should do the laundry?”

In retrospect I think it means I’m a really bad wife.

Day Thirty-nine: It’s officially Laundry Day.