Dear Creator of the Universe,
You know that generally, I’m a huge fan of your work. Who can argue with Clive Owen? I think you really out did yourself there. And anyone who has ever beheld the Grand Canyon or a sunset over the Pacific knows you’re really good at what you do! Millions of women thank you daily for the divine spark of genius that is Manolo Blahnik. Personally, I think your work in the Champagne province of France speaks for itself.
We’ve been companions for a long time so I feel like I can say this and you can hear me. You know I’m your biggest fan, but serioiusly? What the hell happened with you created the color Pink? We’re you drunk?
Oh, now don’t be that way! Come on, you know there is a major design flaw with that color! Every shade from plum, lilac, and lavender, to cerise, scarlet, and magenta–all brilliant. Reds to purples, no one does it better than you. But pink? Really? You had to go there? Barbie, Pepto, glam rock latex, bubble gum. The list goes on and on and on and, if anyone understands the concept of infinity it’s you. Admit it, pun intended, there are so many shades of wrong with the color pink.
I understand that like Pandora’s box, there’s no undoing what you create. Not really, not without extreme measures. But that color of yours has robbed me of my Friday, and I’d like that back. I know what hell looks like, Dear God, and let me tell you—it’s upholstered in wall-to-wall Pink. I’m not sure why it became appropriate to adorn little girls in Pink, and I’m certainly not making you responsible for that. Well, not directly, anyhow. But it’s the state of my reality and Friday was spent making a baby blanket. A pink blanket. A very PINK BLANKET FROM HELL. Ahem.
So, what do you say? You think you could grant me a do-over on the day? It would go a long way to restoring my consumer confidence in your product.
And while you are at it, I could use a few more hours in the day.
Much love and admiration, especially for Clive Owen,
Yours,
Wendelynn.
PS. I hope we’re still on for Super Bowl Sunday. I know you’re really a Hockey fan, but I think it wouldn’t kill you to make an appearance. Metaphorically speaking.
LOL – I think the response could read:
Evidently, glad you approve of my work, or at least most of it. But let me get straight to it… Our R&D labs were quite concerned about “pink” and its many potential abuses.
Not being a micro-manager, I approved it for inclusion in the spectral pallett. Furthermore, the product development group really came up with some winning combinations for that color.
While all feedback is appreciated, I would point out that all products you mentioned were the products of human kind. Coloring Pepto pink was certainly not Divinely inspired. (What were they thinking?)
I certainly don’t need to explain the business of free-will to someone of your background. Life is what you folks make of it, including the use of pink.
As for Hockey, love it. Appeals to that Old Testament side of me. Lots of whoop-ass. Superbowl? Meh. But I’ll be there too, as I am the Universe and all. Kind of hard to miss it.
P.S. – I hear the day-planner things do wonders for making more time in the day…
Again, thanks for the feedback… especially the good stuff.
Warmly, The Universe
Harumph. How sad. Pink is a lovely color. The faint pink glow of a baby’s cheek. The delicate pink of the darling buds of May. Cherry blossoms sprinkling down to cover the grass with a pink carpet. Pink is glorious . . . when sunset turns the clouds to pink you are glimpsing heaven.
Can you tell I love pink?
I’ve been waiting for someone to tell the Universe what’s what when it comes to pink. I didn’t want to upset the delicate balance of the Universe. I know, pretty gutless of me. But I thank you on behalf of all of us who cringe just a little at the thought of all things pink. No pun(s) intended.
PS Except for the (original) Pink Panther. That was pretty cool.
Ah, someone else who is slightly put off – disgusted? – put out by the color pink. Why pink? Why indeed!
Pink is the color of my daughter’s gorgeous cheeks when she walks in the door from the cold. It’s the hue that graces the cloud strewn sky at dusk when I face west.
It’s the color of the dinner plate dahlias blooming in late summer in the bed against my house. Its my dog’s tongue lapping at my son to greet him.
Pink is amazing.
Until and unless you’re facing a bottle of Pepto. Then..not so much.
he he hee
Pink isn’t my favorite either, but I do love fuschia! I would be all sorts of bothered about making any sort of blanket. But I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. Tchao.
You had better hope pink cannot read. In reality, she’s probably a ditz and doing other things. (Perhaps shopping with Clive in France for some new shoes…)
I would like to see Clive Owen in a pair of pink Manolo Blahniks though. That would be a fun halftime show.
Hmmm… Clive in pink would be ok with me, too.
Fabulous post, Friend. Nice writin’. Seriously.
oh. then i’d recommend staying away from my journal/blog. my name on there is Pinkfontgirl, so obviously i type only in pink….
begging for your mercy,
PFG
🙂
You are hilarious!
De-lurking to say that I think I’m going to have this post framed and posted in my sewing room! Lovely writing!
LOL, this post is so witty that it doesn’t even offend my love of pink, and I have a big – no – HUGE love for pink.