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Last year I did away with using commercial laundry detergent that is so harmful for the environment and switched to an eco friendly product. No more liquid fabric softeners either—not that I’ve ever been a big fan of them since most of them smell like baby vomit to me. I know, it’s probably just me.

However, living in Astoria means dealing with our horrible water. Laundry washed in it, no matter what kind of soap I use, still ends up smelling funky. It’s a bit depressing to step fresh from a shower into a funky towel. To combat the issue, I found myself relying more and more on fabric sheets. Bad, bad, bad for the environment. Not so great for masking the smell, either.

So, last year I went hunting for solutions. Many of you make your own laundry detergent using this recipe. Looks great on paper, but you can’t use it effectively in a front loading washers on a cold water setting. So, I opted to add the oxyclean to my load and use a liquid eco friendly detergent and call it quits. Sure, the detergent is way more expensive than Costco’s mega bottle of Tide Ultra, but since the year before we opted to start making our own coffees in house—I could squeeze it.

There is no doubt that when shopping for laundry detergent, my first instinct is to ask: how does it smell? Foolishly, perhaps, believing that smell has something to do with efficacy; never mind the chemicals involved. That instinct is quickly followed by: how much does it cost? And now we get down to it. Laundry is a reality in all of our households and the expense can eat away more of a grocery bill than most of us want to allot. Saving the environment is a worthy cause—but it often comes third or fourth to feeding a family.

I’m no longer in a position to be rationing pennies. No longer do I walk into a store and buy the cheapest item I can find in attempt to work miracles on a thin budget. What a blessing! Instead, I buy items I like using, or support my ethical perspectives, or are a good buy. However, this was not always the case. I can remember right after 9/11 when IZ had NO job, we were bleeding $2k a month in bills, and I was working 40 hours in a bookstore attempting to feed us. The store was in a wealthy part of the Bay Area and our patrons had expendable income to purchase books. Let’s face it, if you can afford to not rely on the public library, life isn’t treating you too poorly.

It was a chatty bookstore and a couple came in and we fell into conversation about supporting independent bookstores. Which, naturally, led to a conversation about the evil that is Walmart and its ilk. Now, the wife of this couple had no idea who she was talking to. Her husband seemed more aware that there was probably a significant difference between their income and my income. So, when this woman ended her rant about how she didn’t understand the patronage of big boxes like Walmart or Target or even Safeway, I couldn’t help but offer this.

“I wish I could afford to buy all my groceries at Trader Joe’s or to buy my clothes someplace other than a chain store. But the truth of the matter is, most of the people who shop at those places are not in a position to choose. I would warrant that most of them would like to walk into swanky Whole Foods too.” Her husband looked at me and with a great deal of compassion said, “We weren’t always in that position either. It takes time. It doesn’t happen overnight.”

This is the bottom of the truth of it, right? Some of us cannot afford to make sweeping changes to support only organic, independent, locally owned products. Not in entirety. To do so would push our budgets beyond their ability to feed our children. When a choice based in cost is a choice about the quality of food we put in our bodies vs. the costs to the environment—it’s a no brainer. It’s not a choice. I’m going to choose good veggies and good protein for my kid’s growing brain. The environment will have to wait. It may be the obvious choice, but that doesn’t mean it sits well with me.

Our budget has not increased overnight. We still go weeks, months sometimes without being paid. So, in order to address this impulse to feed my family AND save the environment, I’ve chosen to focus on ONE thing each year. As our budget has increased, so has our ability to add more tiny changes to our way of living. Last year it was detergent.

Imagine my glee to discover this bottle of eco friendly detergent at Costco. It’s not only good for the environment, but it’s competitively priced with the other name brands you can buy in bulk. Since it comes in a great family sized bottle, this means fewer trips to the grocery store to buy overpriced eco-friendly detergent. Sometimes, you don’t have to choose! Win, win!

Happy, happy me! I walked around Costco yesterday completely amazed. It felt like a reward, really. That after a year of making this tiny choice, the Universe had responded in kind. I kept saying, “IZ, you don’t know how happy this makes me!”

Life is not all or nothing. We don’t have to overhaul our buying choices overnight to favor the environment. Nor does the environment always need to be the last thing we consider when making a choice about where to put our pennies. Sometimes, we can make tiny choices. We can do small things. The difference will add up.