I woke up yesterday morning bloated. Bloated and crampy. Bloated and crampy and sporting a pimple on my upper lip. And as if this wasn’t enough, when I walked past the mirror in the bathroom I did a double take. I actually frightened myself. Can we say “bad hair day”? Seriously, I looked like I’d been plugged into a light socket while I was sleeping. I grabbed the sides of my head trying desperately to force my hair down, wishing I was more coherent and could take a photo. I was a sight to behold, really. Then, I remembered I needed to pee.
So, I said to myself, “Self, this seems like the PERFECT day to stop procrastinating and actually get your Oregon driver’s license.”
You know how in the past, I’ve said I was the Queen of Procrastination, and in your head you said, “Oh no she’s not. She doesn’t know procrastination!” Yeah, you were wrong.
I am the Queen. And if waiting 2.5 years to get a drivers license isn’t proof… then you’d better dish in the comment section. I’m not taking your assertions to the contrary without some evidence. M’kay?
Ahem. Where was I? Oh yeah. Bed head with a death wish.
The thing is, I’ve been in procrastination mode for several reasons. You’re probably one of those people who has a cute drivers license photo. But I am not. And as Oregon licenses you for 8 years, I’m kinda stuck with the photo until I bust out of this joint.(Or if IZ has his way about it, forever. For the record sweetie, I don’t WANT to claim dual residency. You be an Oregonian and I’ll be Californian and we’ll call it even, m’kay?)
I’m not complaining, really—but I get carded every freakin’ time I go to Safeway and well my old license has me weighing 9 lbs less. It turns out, that it is illegal to provide false information on your application and doing so can result in jail time, a fine, and a suspension of your license. I know, I read the manual.
So, I’ve had like what, 2.5 years to the lose 9 measly pounds? (17 really, I’ve lost 8 of them, tyvm!!) See, told you I was Queen. And I’m kicking myself for not getting on it sooner, since I now have a wedding to attend in May. (OH THANKS FOR THE ADVANCED WARNING, MARK!) Oy!
Anyhow, the whole prospect of getting my picture taken and having a license that displays my real weight, it was just too much. Vanity takes hold sometimes.
If my vanity isn’t reason enough to procrastinate, there is always my idle fantasy life. I never really gave up on breaking out of this two star town. I’m not unhappy here. I actually like it. But my heart belongs to another place. I’m a firm believer in living in the place you ARE, yet I won’t lie. I’m a sun worshiper through and through, and there just isn’t enough of it here to make a life long resident out of me. So, I’ve been hanging on to the last vestige of my former life. I’ve just not been in a space to “Surrender Dorothy.”
But yesterday seemed like the day to give it up. “Dorothy” expires on Sunday and it’s bad enough I’ve been driving on an out of state license, driving on an expired license didn’t sound like a good plan. I’d been reading and rereading the manual for the past month. With time running out, there was nothing left to do but face down my fear and slap on some red lipstick.
I’ll admit, before leaving my nerves got the best of me. I have terrible text anxiety. I once walked into a final (in Greek!) and forgot everything. Including the alphabet. Uh, yeah, that kind of anxiety. Boy Wonder noticed and said, “Look, you taught me to write and I passed my state test with flying colors, except for the spelling part. If you can teach me, I’m a kid and you’re an adult. You’ll do fine. Plus, you can spell!”
“It’s multiple choice.” I answered.
“Well, then. NO PROBLEM. You’ll do fine.” He’s such an optimist.
“Oh, if I don’t pass it, I can go back on Friday and try again.”
“No, Mom. You’re a ‘do-er’. You’re GOING to pass. Remember, there is only do or not do, there is NO TRY. So, go do!”
Yes, that’s right. The kid is giving me pep talks and using Star War metaphors. Seriously? How can you not love him?
I’ll spare you all the details. The photo gives it away anyhow. IZ and I both missed 2 questions. Although, he figured out that you could hit the “skip” button if you didn’t like the question. A little fact I missed due to anxiety. I never saw that. Nor did I ever see the “progress” button, so I had no idea during the test how far along I was.
Aside from my nerves, we actually had a lot of fun. After we got our paperwork squared away, taking the test and interacting with the two women in charge of our paperwork and photos was a blast. Who said government employees are dour? We all laughed and carried on. You have to love people willing to mock you for primping before you take your eye test because you got confused and thought it was picture time. And you really have to adore a person who takes your picture over so that you have a good photo—without you even asking! In terms of governmental employees, the women at Astoria’s branch of the DMV rock! Big Time.
“Congratulations,” the boy said as I walked through the door. “See, I didn’t even ask if you passed. I knew you would.”
And I have to say, bloating and cramping and bad hair day aside, all you really need to take a great DMV photo is to have someone believe in you.
Well by the time it was all said and done, one would never know you had a bad hair day. It all looked great to me.
I really didn’t read or study the manual that much – so having the “skip” button was great. I think ALL tests should incorporate the “skip” button. I still had to answer 35 questions and thus demonstrate I had adequate driving knowledge – but it gave me a chance to answer what I knew.
Imagine if a college professor handed you a test of 50 questions and said you only had to answer 35 and you could choose which 35 you answered – I think it is brilliant.
Anyway – I’ll go with you to the DMV any day – was truly fun…
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We did have fun, didn’t we? Thanks for coming with. My nerves, sheesh, you’d think I’d never taken any test in my life. ~W
Oh the memories this gives me. When we became Oregonions we did the DMV thing within the first month of being here. My dear husband failed the test a few times. By the last time he figured out the skip button, too. And because he failed so many times I got to study the ones he missed so I passed first time around. *snicker*
Congrats on your new drivers license. Oregon isn’t that bad! 🙂
-Kathy
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No, Oregon isn’t that bad. It’s actually quite great. It’s really a matter of “loving the wrong boy.” You know, how in movies the heroine falls for the WRONG guy, and you’re sitting there shouting, “DUH, You should love Oregon, he’s a great guy…” But no, she has to be pigheaded and keep romancing “California.”
Now, these movies can go either one of two ways. 1. The girl eventually wakes up and figures out that, “Duh, that Oregon is a great guy!.” Or 2. The movie director develops California’s character enough that you realize the the heroine really DOES belong with California.
We’re aiming for the latter. 😀 ~W
I’m a little curious about the restrictions on your license. It says “BD” Does that mean “bad driver”? And if that’s what it means, shouldn’t that be a warning and not a restriction?
😆 Congrats! Oh ..and have a happy Sunday, too. I think. Or Monday. One or the other
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Thank you! My birthday is Sunday. 😀 As for the restriction, it stands for needing corrective lenses… so maybe it’s short for “blind driver.” 😀 ~W
congrats on passing your test 🙂
I think you look pretty good in your photo!
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Thank you! I’m really pleased with this photo because it actually looks like I look. My last photo looked nothing like me, so in addition to being carded I would then have to explain how the picture actually IS ME. OY! At least now, no one is going to suggest I have a fake ID. (Like I’d have an ID that says I’m 38 on it, if it were fake. GOOD GRIEF!) ~W
Going to the DMV is something I procrastinate on too. It isn’t my favorite place. The employees here in P-town are not that dour, but they aren’t very personable either. Bad hair day? I’m the Queen of that.
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Heh, Queen of Bad Hair Day. OK! 😀 And I know what you mean about going to the DMV. In Marin it was such a nightmare. If you didn’t make an appointment you could be there for hours. This is an upside to living in a small town, I guess. ~W
Congrats. Taking a good DMV photo is a pretty cool accomplishment! I’m jealous! 🙂
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It’s weird how relieved I am. The need to get this accomplished was hanging over me much more than I realized. And whew, at least the photo is OK. The lady was really nice, she redid the photo to make sure and had me move around so it would be at a flattering (ish? Is it really ever flattering??) distance. Much nicer than I expected, really. The only thing I’m sad about, is that I put my “I’d rather be smooching my geeky husband” pin on the wrong lapel on my coat, so it didn’t show up in the photo. 😀 Not that you’d be able to read it, but I liked the message, anyhow. 😀 ~W
If your photo is proof of a bad hair day I NEED a few bad hair days like yours, really you look great and to pass on the first try is really something I think.
Have a great day Sunday!!!!
Mom
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I’m just glad to be DONE with it. And thank you! We don’t have big plans for the day, but this year, I’m just taking my birthday easy. I have other fish to fry, like what the heck to wear to the wedding. Have you figured it out yet? Marie said, “Wear what you want.” But I’m having a doozy of a time finding something “appropriate.” ~W
You have got the sweetest kid.
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You know, he’s your typical 11 year old. At least, I think. He has his moments where his mother is pretty sure she’s going insane. But he really is, very very sweet. He’s got a very tender heart and just wants people to be happy. He really LOVES to make sure everyone is “in a good mood.” At 11, I don’t think it’s fair for me to plaster all his “growing edges” all over my blog. . . he deserves his privacy, so I always worry that people will get the wrong impression. Who wants to grow up in a “Glass house”, right? But honestly, these moments are so abundant, that if I blogged them all you’d think I’m lying. He just has such a nice soul. We are blessed beyond belief with this child. ~W
awwww…*sniff* congrats!!
(for the record, i think i have you beat on the procratinatey-ness…i didn’t get my license until i was 23…and my permit expired when i was 18)
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Oh, it’s official! You’re the Queen. 😀 ~W
Only you two could make a trip to the DMV fun…. but what do you expect out of Chai drinkers? 😀
You look really good in your picture, though. I look like an Indian Kenny G. in mine… it’s horrible.
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Excuse me, I was COMPLETELY sober, tyvm. Heh. I can’t imagine you with curly hair. 😀 ~W
I really like the picture of you…mine looks like I’m confused, but it’s not a terribly bad picture in the end…and congratulations for passing the test!! So, why is it that LIFE doesn’t have a skip button? I mean, I’m already loving the “ignore” button on my cell and wished I could transfer that…I’m just sayin’
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Oh, and ignore button would be so handy. RIGHT THERE WITH YOU! 😀 ~W
Nice shot. And congratulations on that and on passing. 😀
I’m now living in my third local since updating my license because ours lasts so many years. Even if it is a horrible photo and 15 pounds OVER weight. I just don’t want to go. So I may have that procrastinatey crown won.
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Oh… handing over my tiara now. 😀 ~W
I was actually referring to Flag Day on Sunday. But hey, happy birthday, too 🙂
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Well, gee… thanks. 😀 ~W
I’ve enjoyed reading other Oregonians driver’s license tales. Barry and I thought that we’d be able to just trade in our NY licenses, pay a fee, and be good to go here. Instead, we ended up with that computerized test, and although we passed, we totally stressed out as several questions popped up quizzing us on hand signals used by people on horseback on county roads. Needless to say, we weren’t quite prepared for those. It was then that I’d realized what a huge change we were in for. Oh, and my photo? Let’s just say that Barry uses the work “cattle prod” whenever I have to show it to anyone. Ugh.
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Oh, no, cattle prod. Well, I feel you, I do. IZ just said last night, that at least my DL photo looked good—unlike my Costco photo. Which, is truly horrible. 😀 ~W
Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday to you.
Happy BIIIIIRRRRthiday, dear Wende.
HappyBirthdaytoyou.
(as sung by Kate).
Gok.
(As sung by Rylie. Forcefully.)
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Why, kiss that baby for me. And thank you! 😀 ~W
Congratulations on a good photo and passing your test. I hate tests, my #1 kid doesn’t score high on tests either. Oh well. 🙂 And, girl, I’m so with you on living somewhere separate from your heart. My heart is just south of your house, sitting on a log in front of Haystack Rock, probably having a beer! But I don’t TOTALLY mind living in WI. I love the snow, squirrels (I know, I know), birds, new friends, etc. I can’t wait to get HOME tho. And Happy Belated Birthday. I was busy getting ready for my weekend in MN. Had a blast! 🙂
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Oh, thank you! I’m glad you had a great weekend. 😀 ~W
I hate getting my pic taken for my license! I took a great pic one time, and I actually asked them to use the same pic! No dice, but I sure got a couple of chuckles out of them!
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That’s funny. Too bad they said “no”. 😀 ~W
*sniff, sniff*
Your boy is so sweet!
And your right. That is the secret…having someone who believes in you.
I love this post, Wende! 🙂
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Oh, thanks Kalurah. And thanks again for letting me “borrow” your photo! 😀 ~W