PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): It’s an excellent time to seek out a more intimate relationship with your muse. I’d love to see you two develop a deeper commitment to each other. And if for some bizarre reason you don’t have a muse or have lost touch with your muse, it’s a perfect moment to correct that intolerable situation. And don’t tell me that you’re not an artist or writer or musician, and therefore don’t need a muse. *Everyone* needs a muse, even soccer moms and homeless mimes. Especially these days, your well-being depends on the unpredictable inspirations that can best be provided by a person or spirit or luminary who captivates your imagination and drives you crazily sane with mysterious revelations.

Clearly this means I should go shopping.