Last year at this time, some local wrote a letter to the Daily Astorian complaining about the dreadful lack of patriotism in the town. His proof? The sparsity of flags displayed on private property. Never mind, that the business section of town is decked out in rhinestones—this author found the lack of personal displays of patriotism shameful.

Clearly, that stirred up a maelstrom. And for good reason, the very idea that a displaying a flag is the only way to be patriotic is shameful! So, the responses flew in and people argued. I tuned them out— because I grew up in a small town just like this, and there are some arguments you don’t enter as an outsider. You know those arguments, it’s like when Aunt Sally starts berating Uncle Bernie at Thanksgiving about his cigar smoking habit and you start to jump in for the defense, your mama shoots you that look that says, “Child, don’t. You don’t know what you’re stirring up.”

As much as it broke my bunting loving Southern heart I left the house undecorated lest anyone take my flag flying ways to be in support of the worst kind of patriot. Mindless boobs, the lot!

This year, I’m clueless about the controversy and I’m staying that way! I’m sure it’s blown over by now, but I’m not peeking at the local rag to find out either. However, somewhere in the past year while I was canceling our subscription to that flea-infested paper we call the Daily Astorian, I didn’t make time to actually acquire any “patriotism”. . . and that proved to be a different challenge altogether.

Yesterday found the boy and I driving around this county looking for bunting, patriotic fans to be exact. It seems that our county is dry on bunting—at least in the fan-shaped variety. Everywhere I turned, there would be houses adorned to the hilt with the stuff, and the exact opposite in the stores. Hmm… correlation? Not necessarily. I’ve had my eyes peeled for weeks now and the only bunting-esque items I could find were made of paper or plastic. Like groceries, bunting is best delivered in cotton canvas.

So, we gave up. Threw in the towel. Came home and ate lunch. Next year and the internet would solve our problems, but this year, we’d have to wear our patriotism in our hearts. That’s where it serves best, anyhow.

UPDATE: Yeah, so it seems when you’re hunting for something, looking right under your nose is a good place to start. Look what I found in Safeway of all places! Safeway really does sell everything, including that ever elusive patriotism.

I personally think the house looks a wee bit naked still, it could use some real bunting at the entrance to the porch. However, I think we’ve established that IZ is a “less is more” kind of guy (cough*northerner*cough*) who thinks my coral star is statement enough. The fans have put him over the edge, I think. And like I mentioned, the stores are depleted or devoid. Next year, right?

Still, the bunting selection is really thin here—if you’re looking for a niche to fill and you’re somewhat entrepreneurial, I suspect the internet and a booth at the farmer’s market during June next year could see you in the Patriotism business and doing just fine.