See, I’m pretty sure, that when the winds were a’howlin’ a few weeks past and large trees were falling into my neighbor’s yard, that I might have promised on a few of your blogs that I wasn’t going to complain about the rain when it came back. In fact, I think I promised to be downright giddy about the rain.
I lied.
I vaguely recall bartering with the Universe, “Let’s make a deal: You keep my roof on and I’ll put a lid on my bitching about the weather.” I like to be witty when conversing with the Universe. I think it keeps the relationship fresh. Evidently, the Universe was not amused. Nor did it believe me. Instead, it decided that I was lying in the first place.
So, the rains come. Down and down and down. And the floods take us away. Into the river, into the drain, into the dream of balmy weather we cannot know because we live in a torrent of wet. Wet. Wet. I’m tired of the wet. And the only recourse I seem to have, the only coping mechanism I can muster is to whine.
Whining suits me. It would suit you too, if you were a Southern girl growing web toes and fungus and mold. This is unsettling, depressing even! You try maintaining a bouffant hair-do in this weather. I don’t even want to discuss my mascara—which has the unearthly tendency to trail off my face making me look very much like those Heroin Chic models in the magazines, albeit an overweight one. And don’t start lecturing me about “water-proof” mascara, because I’m here to inform you Smarty-Pants Internets that in the wilds of the Oregon Coast there is no such thing. No siree. Does not exist.
So. Yes. I admit it; I lied. I never intended to stop complaining. Because, this is what I do. Whining. I’m good at it. Trust me, dear readers, when you find what you’re good at, you stick with it. People have been telling me for months now that I should find my bliss and follow it. Draw what conclusions you may.
Rain, rain, go away.
Come again… to Australia, which I hear really needs you.
Suddenly, with its location to the South of us… somewhat downhill I might add… it makes SO MUCH MORE SENSE that there *IS* a DRAIN Oregon…
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I guess the water has to go somewhere. ~W
Drain, Oregon? That’s hilarious!!
Waterproof mascara means that it won’t run down your face when it rains or when my witticisms make you laugh so hard your eyes well up. It also means it won’t come off at all. Ever.
Maybe you should think about moving? I’ve heard it never rains in California ……. it pours. Man, it pours. (And yes, I put that song in your head on purpose. Heh.)
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Oh, you’re going to pay for that! And the problem with waterproof… is that I end up with NO lashes. They fall out. I’m fragile. Which is why I’m having issues with the weather: I’M FREAKIN’ DELICATE. That stuff about Southern women being “steel magnolias” was made up by a man. Such lies, I tell you. ~W
Alice Cooper here! Two things I want… 1) Oregon Proof Mascara and 2) an Oregon setting on my camera.
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See, I’m so with you on this. I’ve had no pictures on my site in days because there is NO sunlight… everything just comes out muddied or over exposed due to using a flash.  Grumble grumble… ~W
i lived in Coos Bay for ten years, and i am here to tell you that there is a brand that has actual oregon-proof mascara. (Avon-astonishing lengths waterproof).
Drain is a drain, and that’s why it’s called that. Bunch of creeks and things come together there.
Now i’m on the dryer side of the state (also an ex-SoCal person like you) and it’s a little easier to deal with, despite the snow. But yeah, winter drove me bananas in Coos Bay. Having the beach there made it bearable.
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Oof… dah! As the locals like to say. It’s just too wet for me. I need sunlight and warmth. ~W
I am ready to get a curly perm because there is just no use straightening the random waves out of my hair in this humidity. I have also been trying not to let the weather get to me. I’m getting better at it, at least until they start talking about “supercells” and “tornados”. Your heroin-chic remark cracked me up. I, unlike the Universe, am amused by your witty remarks. You are not overweight, they are underweight. In a serious way. It is sick.
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Um, yeah, my doctor would quibble with you on the weight thing, but I take your point. :D I miss muggy humidity. Honestly, warm humidity is way better than cold rain. ~W
All my west coast friends are singing the rainy day blues, it seems. So I won’t rub in the fact that we are having balmy sunny days here in Florida- I’ll just invite you to come walk along the bay with me. We could discuss our respective futures.
I think whining is fine as long as you’re right upfront about it. A really good whiner can be quite entertaining. This post, for example.
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I’m glad I’m entertaining someone! :D As for your beach and sun and walks. It all sounds so very glorious. Lord knows I could use some direction about my future. Big sigh. ~W
You get more rain than we do, but not by much. I am glad to have my bumblebee raincoat for running in the nasty weather. Otherwise, I would be going crazy. I love the gifts you got from your friend; she is very thoughtful.
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Indeed she is! As for the rain, I’m not doing so well. I’d like to think all my years in Seattle prepped me for this, but it didn’t! Sideways rain, hail, and wind…oof! ~W
Ok, I don’t want to hear any whining about the rain. You KNOW it’s going to rain in OR. NOW, here’s where I’m going to whine. It’s SUPPOSED to snow in the winter in WI, but where is the snow? I have no idea. I am sitting here EXPECTING the snow, but it’s not coming. It’s in the 40s and I’m getting sick of people thinking this is nice weather. NO! I WANT SNOW, I WANT SNOW! Ok, I’m done kicking and screaming now. I think I should go shop! 🙂