Dear IZ,
You know I love you–you have to know this,
right? I mean, only a woman in love would put up with the house-guests from hell– six weeks after moving! House-guests that
belong to YOU! Seriously, you must know I’m completely smitten
with you to clean, bake, and all around put up with the generous
amounts of neurotic anxiety produced by said house guests.
Not to mention the undisciplined and unmonitored antics of their
oppositional eight year old. (Two words: NEVER AGAIN!)
I’m only asking because
I’m hearing noises coming from the kitchen that suggest you might not
be aware of my total and complete dedication to your happiness.
Grumbly noises. Snarky noises. And I have to say, I am
crushed! Your friends have driven me to drink and I don’t think
commentary from you regarding my Mocha habit is really necessary.
Yes, I want another mocha.
And I don’t think it’s too much to ask you to make it. It’s not
like I’m asking for, let’s say, a rather large diamond or
anything! I can hear you
raising that eyebrow at me, bubba. If I have a three mocha a day habit,
it is in direct correlation to the three days of mind altering, passive
aggressive, narcissistic, oppositional behavior tolerated by yours
truly for YOU. Because I love YOU! So, stop asking if I
want whipped cream on top of my third mocha in that tone. Of course I want whipped cream–bling bling.
